




               FEAR & LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS

                            by

               Terry Gilliam & Tony Grisoni
 .



 BLACK SCREEN

 A desert wind moans sadly.  From somewhere within the wind
 comes the tinkly, syrupy-sweet sounds of the Lennon Sisters
 singing "My Favorite Things." A series of sepia images of
 anti-war protests from the mid-sixties appear one after
 another on the screen.

 In the violently scrawled style of Ralph Steadman, the title
 FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS splashes onto the screen.  A
 beat, and then it runs down and off revealing:

 TITLE: "He who makes a beast of himself
        Gets rid of the pain
        Of being a man."
        Dr. Johnson

 The VOICE OF HUNTER S. THOMPSON -- a.k.a. RAOUL DUKE:

                          DUKE (V/O)
             We were somewhere around Barstow on
             the edge of the desert when the
             drugs began to take hold.

 AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 A red Chevy convertible -- THE RED SHARK -- wipes the black
 screen.

 EXT. ON THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

 AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 THE RED SHARK races down the desert highway at a hundred
 miles an hour.  THE STONES' "Sympathy For the Devil" blares.

 AT THE WHEEL

 STRANGELY STILL AND TENSE, RAOUL DUKE DRIVES -- SKELETAL,
 BEER IN HAND -- STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD.

 BESIDE HIM, FACE TURNED TO THE SUN, EYES CLOSED BEHIND
 WRAPAROUND SPANISH SUNGLASSES, IS HIS SWARTHY AND UNNERVINGLY
 UNPREDICTABLE ATTORNEY, DR. GONZO.

 The music pounds DUKE stares straight ahead.  GONZO froths
 up a can of beer - uses it as shaving foam.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I remember saying something like:
             "I feel a bit lightheaded.  Maybe
             you should drive..."

 GONZO starts shaving.
 .
                                                             2.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Suddenly there was a terrible roar
             all around us and the sky was full
             of what looked like huge bats, all
             swooping and screeching and diving
             around the car...

 Close on DUKE -- shadows flutter across his face.  The
 reflections of bats swirl within his eyes.  We push in close
 to one eye ball -- SCREECHING SWIRLING BAT-LIKE SHAPES!

 AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             ... and a voice was screaming: Holy
             Jesus!  What are these goddamn
             animals?

 CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF CAR -

 DUKE, eyes rigid, flails at the air.  No bats anywhere.
 GONZO casually looks over...

                          GONZO
             What are you yelling about?

 DUCK SCREECHES to the side of the road.  The sudden wrench
 makes GONZO nick his face with his razor.

                          DUKE
             Never mind.  It's your turn to drive.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             No point mentioning these bats.  I
             thought.  The poor bastard will see
             them soon enough.

 DUKE hops out of the car, keeping an eye out for bats,
 frantically opens the trunk to reveal what looks like A
 MOBILE POLICE NARCOTICS LAB.  DUKE desperately rifles
 through the impressive stash.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             We had two bags of grass, seventy-
             five pellets of mescaline, five
             sheets of high powered blotter
             acid, a salt shaker half full of
             cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-
             colored uppers, downers, screamers,
             laughers... Also a quart of tequila,
             a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
             pint of raw ether and two dozen
             amyls.
 .
                                                             3.


 DUKE, eyes darting madly as he hears what sounds like the
 SHRIEKS OF BATS returning, grabs an assortment along with
 another six-pack of beer - slams the trunk shut and dives
 back into the car.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Not that we needed all that for the
             trip, but once you get locked into
             a serious drug collection, the
             tendency is to push it as far as
             you can.

 THE RED SHARK RACES INTO THE DISTANCE... on the ground,
 weakly flapping is a SEMI-SQUASHED, SLOWLY DYING ANIMAL... A
 BAT?

 EXT. FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

 IN THE RED SHARK

 GONZO grips the wheel - stares maniacally down the road - a
 lousy driver.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The only thing that really worried
             me was the ether.  There is nothing
             in the world more helpless and
             irresponsible and depraved than a
             man in the depths of an ether binge.
             And I knew we'd get into that
             rotten stuff pretty soon.

 The radio news wars with "SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" on a tape
 recorder.

                          RADIO NEWS
             An overdose of heroin was listed as
             the official cause of death for
             pretty 19 year old Diane Hanby
             whose body was found stuffed in a
             refrigerator last week...

 GONZO changes the station - "ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE, SWEET
 JESUS, ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE" vies with "SYMPATHY"... He
 sings along - washes a couple of pills back with a new beer.
 The RED SHARK fishtails.

                          GONZO
             "One toke over the line, sweet
             Jesus."
 .
                                                             4.


                          DUKE
                    (muttering to himself)
             One toke.  You poor fool.  Wait
             till you see those goddamn bats.

 UP AHEAD - AT THE SIDE OF THE DESERTED ROAD

 A LONE HITCHHIKER spots them, jumps up and sticks out a
 thumb.  The RED SHARK roars past.  Then, fifty yards down
 the road...

                          GONZO
             Let's give that boy a lift.

 GONZO wrenches the wheel - THE RED SHARK swerves to the side
 of the road.

                          DUKE
             We can't stop here - this is bat
             country!

 GONZO JAMS THE CAR INTO REVERSE AND ROCKETS BACKWARDS.  The
 HITCHHIKER races to the car.  A poor OKIE KID with a big grin.

                          HITCHHIKER
             Hot damn!  I never rode in a
             convertible before!

 Then the big grin freezes on the OKIE KID's face at the
 sight of: DUKE and GONZO looking out at him with HYPER-
 NORMAL, shit-eating SMILES.

                          DUKE
             Is that right?  Well, I guess
             you're about ready, eh?

 The HITCHHIKER hesitates.

                          GONZO
             We're your friends.  We're not like
             the others.

                          DUKE
                    (hissing sharply)
             No more of that talk or I'll put
             the leeches on you.

 DUKE turns back to the HITCHHIKER - smiles reassuringly.

 EXT. EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

 The HITCHHIKER sits nervously in the back seat as the RED
 SHARK screams down the road.
 .
                                                             5.


 GONZO sings along to the tape player.

 The HITCHHIKER's eyes go to the door - considers jumping out
 and taking his chances.

 DUKE, sweating bullets, STARES AT THE HITCHHIKER in the rear
 view mirror.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             How long could we maintain, I
             wondered.  How long before one of
             us starts raving and jabbering at
             this boy?  What will he think then?
             This same lonely desert was the
             last known home of the Manson family.

 The HITCHHIKER's eyes notice a thin line of blood trickling
 down GONZO's neck.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Would he make that grim connection
             when my attorney starts screaming
             about bats and huge manta rays
             coming down on the car?

 DUKE's mouth moves intermittently - sometimes in sync with
 the words, sometimes not.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             If so - well, we'll just have to
             cut his head off and bury him
             somewhere.  Because it goes without
             saying that we can't turn him loose.
             He'd report us at once to some kind
             of outback Nazi law enforcement
             agency, and they'll run us down
             like dogs...

                          DUKE
                    (out loud to himself)
             Jesus!  Did I say that?

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Or just think it?  Was I talking?
             Did they hear me?

                          GONZO
                    (reassuringly to HITCHHIKER)
             It's okay.  He's admiring the shape
             of your skull.

 DUKE gives the HITCHHIKER a FINE BIG GRIN and the HITCHHIKER
 giggles nervously.
 .
                                                             6.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Maybe I better have a chat with
             this boy I thought.  Perhaps if I
             explain things, he'll rest easy...

                          DUKE
                    (roaring over the
                    road noise)
             THERE'S ONE THING YOU SHOULD
             PROBABLY UNDERSTAND --

 The HITCHHIKER stares at him, not blinking.

                          DUKE
                    (yells)
             CAN YOU HEAR ME?

 The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- terrified.  DUKE climbs
 into the back seat.

                          DUKE
             That's good.  Because I want you to
             have all the background.  This is a
             very ominous assignment -- with
             overtones of extreme personal
             danger.  I'm a Doctor of Journalism!
             This is important, goddamnit!  This
             is a true story!...
                    (WHACKS the BACK OF
                    THE DRIVER'S SEAT
                    with his fist)


 The CAR SWERVES SICKENINGLY, then straightens out.

                          GONZO
                    (screams)
             Keep your hands off my fucking neck!

 The HITCHHIKER makes a sudden lunge for freedom.  DUKE GRABS
 HIM BACK DOWN.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Our vibrations were getting nasty --
             but why?  Was there no communication
             in this car?  Had we deteriorated
             to the level of dumb beasts?

 The HITCHHIKER STRUGGLES IN PANIC.
 .
                                                             7.


                          DUKE
                    (to HITCHHIKER)
             I want you to understand that this
             man at the wheel is my attorney!
             He's not just some dingbat I found
             on the Strip.  He's a foreigner.  I
             think he's probably Samoan.  But it
             doesn't matter, does it?  Are you
             prejudiced?

                          HITCHHIKER
             Hell, no!

                          DUKE
             I didn't think so.  Because in
             spite of his race, this man is
             extremely valuable to me.  Hell, I
             forgot all about this beer.  You
             want one?
                    (HITCHHIKER shakes
                    his head)
             How about some ether?

                          HITCHHIKER
             What?

                          DUKE
             Never mind.  Let's get right to the
             heart of this thing.  Twenty-four
             hours ago we were sitting in the
             Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Wills
             Hotel...

 INT. THE BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL POGO LOUNGE 1971 - DAY

 A uniformed DWARF, carries a shockingly PINK TELEPHONE
 through the glittering, tranquil POGO LOUNGE CROWD.  They
 are the ELOI.  HENDRIX AFROS and DROOPING MUSTACHES and BELL
 BOTTOMS and LOVE BEADS and BELLS.  ACTRESSES sip Singapore
 Slings and PROMOTERS sip ACTRESSES in this MONIED, SANITISED
 VERSION OF THE GREAT REVOLUTION YEARS.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             ... in the patio section, of
             course, drinking Singapore Slings
             with mescal on the side, hiding
             from the brutish realities of this
             foul year of Our Lord, 1971.

 The DWARF reaches DUKE -- T-shirt, levis, sneakers and
 shades.  GONZO -- white rayon bellbottoms and a khaki tank
 top undershirt.  They are in the middle of a serious
 conversation.
 .
                                                             8.


                          DUKE
             I'm telling you, the Salazar story
             is getting too complicated.  The
             weasels have started closing in.

 The DWARF sneers.

                          DWARF
             Perhaps this is the call you've
             been waiting for all this time,
             sir...

 DUKE lifts the receiver -- listens...

                          DUKE
             Uh-huh... Uh-huh... Uh-huh...

 DUKE hangs up the PHONE with the DEAD-PAN EXPRESSION OF A
 MOVIE SPY.

                          DWARF
             That was headquarters.  They want
             me to go to Las Vegas at once and
             make contact with a Portuguese
             photographer named Lacerda.  He'll
             have the details.  All I have to do
             is check into my sound proof suite
             and he'll seek me out.

 GONZO, says nothing for a moment, then POUNDS the table!

                          GONZO
             God hell!  I think I see the
             pattern!  This one sounds like real
             trouble!  You're going to need
             plenty of legal advice before this
             thing is over.  As your attorney I
             must advise you that you'll need a
             very fast car with no top and after
             that, the cocaine.  And then the
             tape recorder, for special music,
             and some Acapulco shirts...
                    (GONZO tucks his
                    khaki undershirt into
                    his white
                    bellbottoms -- he
                    means business!)
             This blows my weekend, because
             naturally I'll have to go with
             you -- and we'll have to arm
             ourselves.
 .
                                                             9.


                          DUKE
             Why not?  If a thing's worth doing,
             it's worth doing right.

 DUKE and GONZO are up and off.  The DWARF chases after them
 with the (very large) check in his hand.

 They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it
 swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.

                          DUKE
             I tell you, my man.  This is the
             American Dream in action!  We'd be
             fools not to ride this strange
             torpedo all the way to the end.

                          GONZO
             Indeed.  We must do it.  What kind
             of story is this?

 EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY

 DUKE and GONZO emerge.

                          DUKE
             The Mint 400!  The richest off-road
             race for motorcycles and dune-
             buggies in the history of organized
             sport!
                    (handing parking
                    ticket to Valet)
             -- a fantastic spectacle in honor
             of some fatback grossero who owns
             the luxurious Mint Hotel in the
             heart of downtown Vegas... at least
             that's what the press release says.

 Their car arrives -- rusted out, smashed door panels.  They
 jump in.

                          DUKE
             We're going to have to drum it up
             on our own.  Pure Gonzo Journalism.

 And they're off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose-
 bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.

 EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY

 The PINTO races through shot.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Getting hold of the drugs and
             shirts had been no problem...
 .
                                                            10.


 EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

 The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back
 window full of Hawaiian shirts.

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             ... but the car and tape recorder
             were not easy things to round up at
             6:30 on a Friday afternoon in
             Hollywood.

 INT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

 TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer's ads ticked off lie in a pile
 as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE.  DUKE carries over four
 Singapore Slings.

                          GONZO
             O.K., O.K., yes.  Hang onto it.
             We'll be there in thirty minutes.
                    (to DUKE -- hand over
                    the PHONE)
             I finally located a car with
             adequate horsepower and the proper
             coloring.
                    (into PHONE)
             What?!  OF COURSE the gentleman has
             a major credit card!  Do you
             realize who the fuck you're talking
             to?

                          DUKE
             Don't take any guff from these
             swine.
                    (GONZO slams the
                    phone down)
             Now we need a sound store with the
             finest equipment.  Nothing dinky.
             One of those new Belgian Heliowatts
             with a voice-activated shotgun
             mike, for picking up conversations
             in oncoming cars.

                          GONZO
             We won't make the nut unless we
             have unlimited credit.

                          DUKE
             We will.  You Samoans are all the
             same.  You have no faith in the
             essential decency of the white
             man's culture.
 .
                                                            11.


 EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DUSK

 The PINTO races down street.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The store was closed, but the
             salesman said he would wait, if we
             hurried...

 EXT. SUNSET BLVD - TRAFFIC JAM - DUSK

 They're stuck in a traffic jam -- clouds of exhaust.  DUKE
 BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             But we were delayed en route when a
             Stingray in front of us killed a
             pedestrain.

 Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE -- a covered
 corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.

 EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

                          DUKE (V/O)
             We had trouble, again, at the car
             rental agency.

 Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: DUKE grins with
 satisfaction -- checking it out.  A nervous AGENT holds out
 a clipboard.  DUKE signs without looking at the rental papers.

                          AGENT
             Say... uh... you fellas are going
             to be careful with this car, aren't
             you?

                          DUKE
             Of course.

 DUKE throws the car into reverse -- roars backwards past the
 gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.

                          AGENT
             Well, good god!  You just backed
             over that two foot concrete abutment
             and you didn't even slow down!
             Forty-five in reverse!  And you
             barely missed the pump!

                          DUKE
             No harm done.  I always test the
             transmission that way.  The rear
             end.  For stress factors.
 .
                                                            12.


 GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box
 of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.

                          AGENT
             Say.  Are you fellows drinking?

                          DUKE
             Not me.  We're responsible people.

 He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic.  The
 AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.

                          GONZO
             There's another worrier.  He's
             probably all cranked up on speed.

 EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

 STRANGE AND MAGICAL.  In the moonlight: the silhouetted
 figures of DUKE and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             We spent the rest of that night
             rounding up materials and packing
             the car.  Then we ate some mescaline
             and went swimming.

 The surf crashes in the distance...

 EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT

 DUKE cries out as he dives into the ocean.  He lets himself
 float up through the silvery bubbles...

 DUKE AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING
 MOONLIT SURF.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Our trip was different.  It was to
             be a classic affirmation of
             everything right and true in the
             national character; a gross,
             physical salute to the fantastic
             possibilities of life in this
             country.  But only for those with
             true grit...

 EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

 DUKE's intense face.

                          DUKE
             ...and we're chock full of that!
 .
                                                            13.


                          GONZO
             Damn right!

                          DUKE
             My attorney understands this
             concept, despite his racial handicap.
             But do you?!

 The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- petrified.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             He said he understood, but I could
             see in his eyes that he didn't.  He
             was lying to me.

                          GONZO
             My heart!

 GONZO clutches his heart.  The car veers off the road and
 screeches to a halt.  He slumps over the wheel.

                          GONZO (CONT'D)
             Where's the medicine?

                          DUKE
             The medicine?  Yes, it's right here.

 DUKE spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.

                          DUKE
             Don't worry, this man has a bad
             heart... Angina Pectoris.  But we
             have a cure for it.

 DUKE and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece -- INHALE DEEPLY.  GONZO
 falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun.  The
 HITCHHIKER looks petrified.

                          GONZO
                    (suddenly flailing
                    his naked arms at the sky)
             Turn up the fucking music!  My
             heart feels like an alligator!
             Volume!  Clarity!  Bass!  We must
             have bass!  What's wrong with us?
             Are you goddamn old ladies?

                          DUKE
                    (turns up music to
                    full volume)
             You scurvy shyster bastard!  Watch
             your language!  You're talking to a
             Doctor of Journalism!
 .
                                                            14.


                          GONZO
                    (laughing uncontrollably)
             What the fuck are we doing out here?
             Somebody call the police!  We need
             help!

                          DUKE
                    (to HITCHHIKER)
             Pay no attention to this swine.  He
             can't handle the medicine.
                    (he begins laughing)


                          GONZO
                    (to the HITCHHIKER)
             The truth is we're going to Vegas
             to croak a scag baron named Savage
             Henry.  I've known him for years
             but he ripped us off -- and you
             know what that means, right?

 GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum -- waves it around.

                          GONZO (CONT'D)
             Savage Henry has cashed his check!
             We're going to rip his lungs out!

                          DUKE
             And eat them!  That bastard won't
             get away with this!  What's going
             on in this country when a scum
             sucker like that can get away with
             sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?

 GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.

 The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID,
 AND FLEES.

                          HITCHHIKER
             Thanks for the ride.  Thanks a lot.
             I like you guys.  Don't worry about
             me.

                          DUKE
                    (yells)
             Wait a minute!  Come back and have
             a beer!

 The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car.
 .
                                                            15.


                          GONZO
             Good riddance.  That boy made me
             nervous.  Did you see his eyes?
                    (laughing)
             Jesus, this is good medicine.

 DUKE glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.

                          DUKE
                    (suddenly clambering
                    into the front seat)
             Move over!!  We have to get out of
             California before that kid finds a
             cop!

 DUKE GUNS THE RED SHARK -- TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD...

 EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

 THE RED SHARK races -- DUKE at the wheel -- straight ahead
 driving.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It was absolutely imperative that
             we get to the Mint Hotel before the
             deadline for press registration.
             Otherwise, we might have to pay for
             our suite.

 GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE.  The top comes off
 and the powder swirls away on the wind.

                          GONZO
             Oh, Jesus!  Did you see what god
             just did to us?

                          DUKE
             God didn't do that!  You did it!
             You're a fucking narcotics agent,
             that was our cocaine, you pig!

                          GONZO
                    (waving his .357
                    Magnum at Duke)
             You better be careful.  Plenty of
             vultures out here.  They'll pick
             your bones clean before morning.

                          DUKE
             You whore!

 GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID.
 .
                                                            16.


                          GONZO
             Here -- chew this.  It's your half
             of the acid.

 DUKE takes his half -- chews it.

                          DUKE
             How long do I have?

                          GONZO
             Maybe thirty more minutes.  As your
             attorney, I advise you to drive at
             top speed.  It'll be a goddamn
             miracle if we can get there before
             you turn into a wild animal.  Are
             you ready for that?  Checking into
             a Vegas hotel under a phony name
             with intent to commit capital fraud
             and a head full of acid.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Thirty minutes.  It was going to be
             very close.

 The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard:
 "DON'T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION - 20
 YEARS; SALE - LIFE!!"

 EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL - DUSK

 The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT.  A great banner
 spanning the street announces the MINT 400.

 DUKE can feel the drug surging up inside him.  Clutching a
 buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the
 TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.

                          DUKE
             I need this, right?

                          ATTENDANT
             I'll remember your face.

 DUKE stares -- losing it...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There is no way of explaining the
             terror I felt.

 INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

 DUKE waits in line at the front desk -- RIGID WITH PENT UP
 ENERGY.  GONZO's ahead of him -- muscling in -- trying to
 queue jump and failing.
 .
                                                            17.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             I was pouring sweat.  My blood is
             too thick for Nevada.  I've never
             been able to properly explain
             myself in this climate.

 A COUPLE move off and DUKE jerks forward -- stops -- eyes
 fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             Be quiet, be calm... name, rank,
             and press affiliation, nothing
             else...

 DUKE moves ANOTHER RIGID STEP CLOSER to the desk -- the
 tension almost snapping him in two.  GONZO's FLAPPING
 AROUND -- absolutely no success.

 Something catches DUKE's eye... He REMAINS ROOTED -- his
 eyes turning to the VEGETAL PAISLEY PATTERNS ON THE CARPET
 WHICH ARE SHIFTING -- UNDULATING.  THE CARPET PATTERNS ARE
 INEXORABLY CREEPING UP THE WALLS...

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             ...ignore this terrible drug,
             pretend it's not happening...

 The LAST PEOPLE leave -- with A FINAL, STIFF MOVE, DUKE
 comes face to face with the RESERVATIONS CLERK... AND
 EXPLODES!

                          DUKE
             HI THERE.  MY NAME... AH, RAOUL
             DUKE... ON... ON THAT LIST, THAT'S
             FOR SURE.  FREE LUNCH, FINAL
             WISDOM, TOTAL COVERAGE... WHY NOT?
             I HAVE MY ATTORNEY WITH ME, AND I
             REALIZE OF COURSE...

 As DUKE stares at her, BABBLING, her FACE BEGINS TO MORPH.
 He tries to stop it happening by TALKING FASTER.

                          DUKE
             ... THAT HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE
             LIST, BUT WE MUST HAVE THAT SUITE.
             YES.  JUST CHECK THE LIST AND
             YOU'LL SEE.  DON'T WORRY.  WHAT'S
             THE SCORE HERE?  WHAT'S NEXT?

 DUKE sags -- grips the desk -- WHITE KNUCKLES.
 .
                                                            18.


                          RESERVATIONS CLERK
                    (hands him an envelope)
             Your suite's not ready yet.  But
             there's somebody looking for you.

 Her face is CHANGING -- SWELLING -- PULSING...

                          DUKE
                    (shouts)
             NO!  WHY?  WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
             YET!

 The FACE OF THE RESERVATIONS CLERK TURNS GREEN & GROWS FANGS.
 DEADLY POISON!  DUKE LUNGES BACK at GONZO, who GRIPS his arm
 intensely -- REACHES OUT to take the ENVELOPE.

                          GONZO
             I can handle this.  This man has a
             bad heart, but I have plenty of
             medicine.  My name is Dr. Gonzo.
             Prepare our suite at once.  We'll
             be in the bar.

 GONZO manoeuvres DUKE away from the desk.  DUKE looks
 back -- the RESERVATIONS CLERKS is now a MORAY EEL -- green
 jowls and fangs.

 INT. NAUTICAL BAR - DAY

 The bar -- OILY PEOPLE -- quiet music -- nautical theme.
 DUKE and GONZO at the bar, a marlin spike hanging on the
 wall behind them.  DUKE has turned to stone...

                          GONZO
                    (to the bartender)
             Two Cuba Libres with beer and
             mescal on the side.
                    (opens the envelope)
             Who's Lacerda, he's waiting for us
             in a room on the twelfth floor?

                          DUKE
             Lacerda?

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I couldn't remember.  The name rang
             a bell, but I couldn't concentrate.
             Terrible things were happening all
             around us...

 DUKE is staring -- RAPT -- TERRIFIED.  BLOOD FLOWS FREELY
 onto the floor.  DUKE keeps his voice low.
 .
                                                            19.


                          DUKE
             Order some golf shoes.  Otherwise,
             we'll never get out of this place
             alive.  It's impossible to walk in
             this muck -- no footing at all...

 DUKE looks up -- GONZO has disappeared.

 DUKE looks around him -- the entire room has TRANSFORMED
 into a ROOM FILLED WITH REPTILES IN CLOTHES, DRINKING AND
 GNAWING AT ONE ANOTHER.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I was right in the middle of a
             fucking reptile zoo.  And somebody
             was giving booze to these goddamn
             things!  It won't be long before
             they tear us to shreds!

 GONZO IS SUDDENLY BACK -- AT DUKE'S SHOULDER.

                          GONZO
             If you think we're in trouble now
             wait until you see what's happening
             in the elevators.

 GONZO removes his sunshades and we see he's been crying...
 as he speaks he seems to be floating.  Duke struggles to
 keep him in his line of vision.

                          GONZO
             I just went upstairs to see this
             man Lacerda.  I told him I knew
             what he was up to...
                    (GONZO rallies --
                    turns fierce)
             He says he's a photographer!  But
             when I mentioned Savage Henry he
             freaked!  He knows we're onto him!

                          DUKE
             But what about our room?  And the
             golf shoes?

 A GROUP OF REPTILES AT A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM stares at
 them, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THEIR FANGS.

                          DUKE (CONT'D)
                    (grabbing GONZO
                    trying to hold him still)
             Holy shit!  Look at that bunch over
             there!  They've spotted us!
 .
                                                            20.


 Cut to wider shot -- DUKE is holding on to a man standing
 next to him at the bar.  The room has returned to normality.
 GONZO is sitting in his original position.

                          GONZO
                    (downs his drink --
                    gets up)
             That's the press table.  Where you
             have to sign in for our credentials.
             Shit, let's get it over with.  You
             handle that, and I'll check on the
             room.

                          DUKE
             No, no.  Don't leave me!

 Black screen.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DUSK

 A TELEVISION shows the NIGHTLY NEWS.  A BUDDHIST MONK,
 protesting the war, sets himself on fire.  A very nervous
 BELL BOY is laying out GONZO's order.  A marlin spike is on
 the floor next to DUKE.

                          BELL BOY
             Four club sandwiches, four shrimp
             cocktails.

                          DUKE
             There's a big... machine in the
             sky... some kind of electric snake...

 DUKE is curled by the window -- MESMERIZED by an unseen neon
 sign outside the window.  His eyes fill with a million
 colored lights.

                          BELL BOY
             ... a quart of rum...

                          DUKE
             ... coming straight at us.

                          GONZO
             Shoot it.

                          DUKE
             Not yet.  I want to study its habits.

                          BELL BOY
             ... and nine fresh grapefruit.
 .
                                                            21.


                          GONZO
             Vitamin C.  We'll need all we can
             get.

 GONZO sees the BELL BOY out the door -- turns and lays into
 DUKE.

                          GONZO
             Look, you've got to stop this talk
             about snakes and leeches and
             lizards and that stuff.  It's
             making me sick!

 DUKE stares -- hears the drone of B52 BOMBERS...

 On TV: The LAOS INVASION -- A SERIES OF HORRIFYING
 DISASTERS -- EXPLOSIONS AND TWISTED WRECKAGE.

 Newsreel footage of MAI LAI MASSACRE and the LIEUTENANT
 CALLEY court-martial.

                          DUKE
             What are you talking about?

                          GONZO
             You bastard!  They'll never let us
             back in that place.  I leave you
             alone for three minutes and you
             start waving that goddamn marlin
             spike around -- yelling about
             reptiles!  You scared the shit out
             of those people!  They were ready
             to call the cops.  Hell, the only
             reason they gave us press passes
             was to get you out of there...

 A knock at the door.  DUKE and GONZO break out in a sweat.

                          DUKE
             Oh my God!  Who's that?!

 GONZO STICKS HIS GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND -- opens the door to
 LACERDA -- BOUNCING WITH PUPPY DOG ENTHUSIASM.  GONZO stares
 at a man he instantly hates -- watches him with deep
 suspicion.

                          LACERDA
             Duke?  I'm Lacerda your photographer.
             Got your press passes?  Good, good.
             Too bad you missed the bikes
             checking in.  My, what a sight!

 DUKE watches the B-52S DROP THEIR BOMB LOADS.
 .
                                                            22.


 Looking down to the thick, patterned carpet, DUKE sees the
 BOMBS EXPLODE like vicious flowers.

 DUKE looks up: LACERDA is a war photographer -- bruised,
 filthy and blood spattered.  LACERDA approaches him --
 talking a foreign language.

                          LACERDA
             Husquavarnas.  Yamahas.  Kawaskis.
             Maicos.  Pursang.  Swedish Fireballs.
             Couple of Triumphs, here and there
             a CZ.  All very fast.  What a race
             it's gonna be.

 DUKE screws up his eyes -- WILLS NORMALITY BACK.  LACERDA is
 now just a keen photographer.L

                          LACERDA
             Well, we start at dawn.  Get a good
             night's sleep.  I know I will.

 And with a cheerful wave, he's gone.  DUKE is in shock.

                          DUKE
                    (weakly)
             That's good...

                          GONZO
             I think he's lying to us.  I could
             see it in his eyes.

                          DUKE
                    (even weaker)
             They'll probably have a big net for
             us when we show up.

 DUKE's attention returns to the devastation on the TV...

                          GONZO
             Turn that shit off!

 GONZO kills the TV.

 Black screen.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Never lose sight of the primary
             responsibility.  Cover the story.
             But what was the story?  Nobody had
             bothered to say.
 .
                                                            23.


 EXT. DESERT - DAWN

 Against A BIG ORANGE SUN, on a concrete slab, MEN FIRE
 SHOTGUNS into the dawn sky.  Clay pigeons shatter.  The Mint
 Gun Club.

 Next to them, MOTORCYCLES REV -- preparing for the MINT 400
 RACE: A hundred BIKERS, MECHANICS and assorted MOTORSPORT
 TYPES milling around in the pit area; taping headlights,
 topping off oil in the forks, last minute bolt tightening.

 DUKE wanders through.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The racers were ready at dawn.
             Very tense.  But the race didn't
             start until nine so we had three
             long hours to kill.

 A sign by a long trestle table: "KOFFEE & DONUTS." DUKE
 walks past -- ignoring the SMILING LADY behind the stall.

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             Those of us who had been up all
             night were in no mood for coffee
             and donuts.  We wanted strong drink.
             We were, after all, the Absolute
             Cream of the National Sporting
             Press and we were gathered here, in
             Las Vegas, for a very special
             assignment.  And when it comes to
             things like this you don't fool
             around.

 INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

 A real pit of iniquity.  Slot Machines.  Crap tables.  Smoke.
 Drunken shouting.  The absolute cream of the NATIONAL
 SPORTING PRESS.

 DUKE is at the bar, engaged in drunken conversation with a
 LIFE REPORTER...showing him his notebook.

                          DUKE
             See..."Kill the body and the head
             will die"... the Frazier/Ali fight...

                          MAGAZINE REPORTER
             A proper end to the 60's... Ali
             beaten by a human hamburger!

                          DUKE
             And both Kennedy's murdered by
             mutants.
 .
                                                            24.


 A SHOUT goes up from outside.  The sound of engines revving.

                          REPORTER
             That's it!  They're starting!

 In a sudden rush the PRESS CROWD make for the door taking
 DUKE with them.

 EXT. DESERT - DAY

 MOTORCYCLES REV -- tension builds...

 A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The MOTORCYCLES ROAR
 AWAY.  A great cloud of dust goes up -- obscuring the RACERS
 as they disappear into the desert...

 A moment...

                          REPORTER
             Well, that's that.  They'll be back
             in an hour or so.  Let's go back to
             the bar.

 The CROWD turns and streams back into the tent.

 INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

 DUKE heads for the bar along with the REST.  It's packed.
 Drinks are ordered.

 A shout from outside the tent goes up:

                          VOICE OFF
             Group 2!

 The CROWD rushes for the door.  DUKE gets swept along.

 EXT. DESERT - DAY

 MOTORCYCLES REV.  A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The
 MOTORCYCLES ROAR AWAY.  Another great cloud of dust goes up...

 The CROWD head back for the bar.

 INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

 The CROWD surge back to the bar.

                          VOICE OFF
             Group 3!

 This time DUKE fights his way free of the CROWD.
 .
                                                            25.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             There was something like 190 more
             bikes waiting to start.  They were
             due to go off 10 at a time every 2
             minutes.

 DUKE hits the bar.

                          DUKE
             Beer!

 A middle-aged HOODLUM in a T-shirt booms up to the bar.

                          HOODLUM
             God damn!  What day is this --
             Saturday?

                          DUKE
             More like Sunday.

                          HOODLUM
             Hah!  That's a bitch, ain't it?
             Last night I was home in Long Beach
             and somebody said they were runnin'
             the Mint 400 today, so I says to my
             old lady, "Man, I'm goin'." So she
             gives me a lot of crap about it, so
             I start slappin' her around, and
             the next thing you know two guys I
             never seen before are beating me
             stupid.

                          VOICE OFF
             Group 4!

 Outside, another batch of motorcycles roar away -- kicking
 up more clouds of dust.

                          HOODLUM
             Then they gave me ten bucks, put me
             on a bus, and when I woke up here I
             was in downtown Vegas, and for a
             minute all I could think was, "O
             Jesus, who's divorcing me this
             time?" But then I remembered, by
             God!  I was here for the Mint 400.
             And, man, I tell you, it's wonderful
             to be here.  Just wonderful to be
             here with you people.

 A silence.  A MAGAZINE REPORTER lunges across the bar --
 grabs the BARTENDER.
 .
                                                            26.


                          MAGAZINE REPORTER
             Senzaman wassyneeds!

                          DUKE
                    (smacks the bar with
                    his palm)
             Hell yes!  Bring us ten!

                          VOICE OFF
             Group 5!

                          MAGAZINE REPORTER
                    (screams)
             I'll back it!
                    (slides off his stool
                    to the floor)


 Outside, motorcycles roar away.  The dust cloud billows into
 the tent -- getting denser.

                          MAGAZINE REPORTER (CONT'D)
                    (on the floor)
             This is a magic moment in sport!
             It may never come again!  I once
             did the Triple Crown, but it was
             nothing like this.

 A FROG-EYED WOMAN claws at the MAGAZINE REPORTER, tries to
 haul him up.

                          FROG-EYED WOMAN
             Please stand up!  You're a
             correspondent for a major national
             magazine who's name we can't get
             clearance for!  Please!  You'd be a
             very handsome man if you'd just
             stand up!

                          MAGAZINE REPORTER
             Listen, madam.  I'm damn near
             intolerably handsome down here
             where I am.  You'd go crazy if I
             stood up!

 A feverishly eager LACERDA appears out of the dust cloud, 3
 cameras slung round his neck.

                          LACERDA
             Club soda, please.

                          FROG-EYED WOMAN
                    (to MAGAZINE REPORTER)
             Please!  I love Life!
 .
                                                            27.


                          LACERDA
                    (to DUKE)
             Man, it's great out there!

                          DUKE
             Lunatics.

 LACERDA grins.

                          VOICE OFF
             Group 6!

                          LACERDA
             Meet you outside!

 LACERDA downs his drink -- hurries out through the crowd and
 out into the cloud of dust.

 EXT. DESERT - DAY

 Nothing.  Except for a THICK CLOUD OF DUST.

 Barely visible, a motorcycle comes speeding into the pits.
 The RIDER staggers off his bike.  The PIT CREW gas it up and
 sends it back with a FRESH RIDER.

 DUKE watches him disappear back into the dust cloud.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             By 10 they were spread out all over
             the course.  It was no longer a
             race, now it was an Endurance
             Contest.  The idea of trying to
             "cover this race" in any
             conventional press sense was absurd.

 A HORN HONKS.  A shiny BLACK BRONCO with DRIVER.  LACERDA
 hangs out of the window.

                          LACERDA
             It's great, isn't it?!  Jump in!

 DUKE gets into the Bronco and they head into the DUST CLOUD.

 EXT. DESERT - DAY

 IN THE BRONCO.

 DUKE hangs on with his beer.  Nothing all around but the
 HUGE IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF DUST.  LACERDA snaps madly away
 at nothing at all!
 .
                                                            28.


                          LACERDA
             I'll just keep trying different
             combos of film and lenses till I
             find one that works in this dust!

 The SOUND OF MOTORCYCLES RACING...

 We hear music and voices singing:

                          BATTLE HYMN
             "...As we go marching on
             When I reach my final campground,
             in
             that land beyond the sun,
             And the Great Commander asks me..."
             [What did he ask you, Rusty?]
             "Did you fight or did you run?"

 A moment later, the Bronco races out of the dust.  DUKE
 coughs, chokes, drinks beer.

                          BATTLE HYMN
                    (continuing)
             [And what did you tell them,
             Rusty?]
             "We responded to their rifle fire
             with everything we had..."

 The sound of gun shots...

 A DUNE BUGGY races toward them, loaded down with THREE
 RETIRED PETTY OFFICERS, DRUNK AS HELL.  The radio blares:
 "THE BATTLE HYMN OF LIEUTENANT CALLEY."

 The dune buggy is COVERED WITH OMINOUS SYMBOLS: SCREAMING
 EAGLES CARRYING AMERICAN FLAGS IN THEIR CLAWS.  A slant-eyed
 Snake being chopped to bits by a buzz-saw made of stars and
 stripes.  A MACHINE GUN MOUNT on the passenger side.  They
 yell over the roaring engines.

                          DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
             Where's the damn race?

                          DUKE
             Beats me.  We're just good patriotic
             Americans like yourself.

 DUKE gives DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 A NICE BIG GRIN.  In
 response, the PASSENGER #2 narrows his eyes -- tightens his
 grip on an automatic weapon.

                          DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
                    (suspiciously)
             What outfit you fellas with?
 .
                                                            29.


                          DUKE
             The sporting press.  We're
             friendlies.  Hired geeks.

 The DRIVER and DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 exchange looks.

                          DUKE
             If you want a good chase, you
             should get after that skunk from
             CBS News up ahead in the black jeep.
             He's the man responsible for that
             book, THE SELLING OF THE PENTAGON.

                          DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #1
             HOT DAMN!

                          DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2
             A black jeep, you say?

 And they ROAR away.

                          DUKE
             Take me back to the pits.

                          LACERDA
             No, no -- we have to go on.  We
             need total coverage.

 DUKE gets out of the Bronco.

                          DUKE
             You're fired.

 After a moment's hesitation, LACERDA and the BRONCO driver
 roar away leaving DUKE alone in the cloud of dust.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It was time.  I felt, for an
             Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole
             scene.  The race was definitely
             under way.  I had witnessed the
             start; I was sure of that much.
             But what now?

 EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

 MUSIC PUMPS OUT.  CRUISING IN THE RED SHARK IN VEGAS.  THE
 SKY SWIRLS WITH MILLIONS OF NEON LIGHTS CHASING EACH OTHER
 IN BAROQUE PATTERNS ACROSS GIGANTIC HOTEL SIGNS.  PSYCHEDELIC
 LIGHT SHOWS TO LURE AND DERANGE THE INNOCENT.  CITY OF LOST
 SOULS.
 .
                                                            30.


                          DUKE
             Turn up the radio!  Turn up the
             tape machine!  Roll the windows
             down.  Let's taste this cool desert
             wind!  Aaah, yes!  This is what
             it's all about!

 DUKE, beer in hand, drives -- a big smile for the world.
 GONZO scans The Vegas Visitor.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Total control now.  Tooling along
             the main drag on a Saturday night
             in Vegas, two good old boys in a
             fire apple red convertible...
             stoned, ripped, twisted... Good
             people!

                          GONZO
             How about "Nickel Nick's Slot
             Arcade?" "Hot Slots," that sounds
             heavy.  Twenty-nine cent hotdogs...

                          DUKE
             Look, what are we doing here?  Are
             we here to entertain ourselves, or
             to do the job?

                          GONZO
             To do the job, of course.  Here we
             go... a Crab Louie and quart of
             muscatel for twenty dollars!

 The Shark hits a bump.

                          GONZO
             As your attorney I advise you to
             drive over to the Tropicana and
             pick up on Guy Lombardo.  He's in
             the Blue Room with his Royal
             Canadians.

 They hit another bump.

                          DUKE
             Why?

                          GONZO
             Why what?

 CUT to wide shot.  They are DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES in a
 large casino parking lot, bumping over the dividers.
 .
                                                            31.


                          DUKE
             Why should I pay out my hard-earned
             dollars to watch a fucking corpse.
             I don't know about you, but in my
             line of business it's important to
             be Hep.

 EXT. DESERT ROOM HOTEL - NIGHT

 TWO BIG SCREAMING FACES.

                          DOORMAN #1
             What the hell are you doing?!

                          DOORMAN #2
             You can't park here!

                          DUKE
             Why not?  Is this not a reasonable
             place to park?

 Reveal the RED SHARK parked on the sidewalk in front of the
 Desert Inn.  TWO DOORMEN loom over the car hood.  The
 MARQUEE says: TONIGHT.  DEBBIE REYNOLDS.

 GONZO leaps from the car, waving a five-dollar bill at the
 DOORMAN.

                          GONZO
             We want this car parked!  We drove
             all the way from L.A. for this show.
             We're friends of Debbie's.

 A pause, then... the DOORMAN pockets the bill, hands them a
 parking stub.  DUKE and GONZO hurry into the hotel.

 INT. DESERT FROM HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

 DUKE and GONZO walk through the lobby.  Black, mirrored,
 sleek, classy.

                          DUKE
             Holy shit!  They almost had us
             there!  That was quick thinking.

                          GONZO
             What do you expect?  I'm your
             attorney.  You owe me five bucks.
             I want it now.

 DUKE shrugs and hands over the $5.
 .
                                                            32.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             This was Bob Hope's turf.  Frank
             Sinatra's.  Spiro Agnew's.  It
             seemed inappropriate to be haggling
             about nickel/dime bribes for the
             parking lot attendant.

 A WINE-COLORED TUXEDO stops them at the entrance to the
 ballroom.

                          WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
             Sorry, full house.

                          GONZO
             Goddamnit, we drove all the way
             from L.A.

                          WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
             I said there are no seats left...
             at any price.

                          GONZO
             Fuck seats!  We're old friends of
             Debbie's.  I used to romp with her.

 GONZO and the WINE-COLORED TUXEDO get into an ugly arm-
 waving negotiation.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             After a lot of bad noise, he let us
             in for nothing provided we would
             stand quietly at the back and not
             smoke.

 As DUKE and GONZO disappear through the door we can hear the
 orchestra blasting out a HIGHLY BLANDIZED "SGT. PEPPER'S
 LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND."

 A beat.

 The door flies open and BOUNCERS manhandle DUKE and GONZO
 out.  Despite the rough treatment they're both SCREECHING
 WITH LAUGHTER.

                          GONZO
             Jesus creeping shit!

                          DUKE
                    (tears streaming)
             Did the mescaline just kick in?  Or
             was that Debbie Reynolds in a
             silver Afro wig?!
 .
                                                            33.


                          GONZO
                    (in hysteria)
             We wandered into a fucking time
             capsule!

 EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

 DUKE DRIVES FAST into the night.  They're both LAUGHING
 HYSTERICALLY.

                          DUKE
                    (in hysteria)
             We wandered into a fucking time
             capsule!

 THEN... GONZO finds a TINY TEAR IN HIS JACKET...

                          GONZO
             What's this?...

 GONZO is instantly MOROSE.

                          GONZO
             That scum...

 GONZO twists round in the car -- SCREAMS back into the night.

                          GONZO
             SCUM!  I know where you live!  I'll
             find you and burn down your fucking
             house!

 EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS - NIGHT

 A hundred foot high neon clown: BAZOOKO CIRCUS.

 The RED SHARK pulls up beneath the sign.

                          DUKE
             This is the place.  They'll never
             fuck with us here.

                          GONZO
             Where's the ether?  This mescaline
             isn't working.

 EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

 Into the GLARING, CHASING LIGHTS of the entrance canopy
 steps DUKE in EC/U holding a KLEENEX SOAKED IN ETHER TO HIS
 NOSE.
 .
                                                            34.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Ah, devil ether.  It makes you
             behave like the village drunkard in
             some early Irish novel... total
             loss of all basic motor skills;
             blurred vision, no balance, numb
             tongue --
                    (throws away kleenex)
             The mind recoils in horror, unable
             to communicate with the spinal
             column.  Which is interesting,
             because you can actually watch
             yourself behaving in this terrible
             way, but you can't control it.

 DUKE and GONZO approach the entrance with elaborate care-
 taking one step at a time -- trying to keep ahead of the drug.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             You approach the turnstiles and
             know that when you get there, you
             have to give the man two dollars or
             he won't let you inside... but when
             you get there, everything goes wrong.

 THE ETHER KICKS IN:

 DUKE and GONZO BOUNCE off the walls, CRASH into OLD LADIES,
 GIGGLE HELPLESSLY as they try to pay -- HANDS FLAPPING
 CRAZILY, unable to get money out of their pockets.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Some angry Rotarian shoves you and
             you think: What's happening here?
             What's going on?  Then you hear
             yourself mumbling.

                          DUKE
                    (mumbling)
             Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of
             mine.  Watch out!... Why money?  My
             name is Brinks; I was born... Born?

                          GONZO
             Get sheep over side... women and
             children to armored car... orders
             from Captain Zeep.

 The ATTENDANTS indulgently escort them through the TURNSTILES.
 .
                                                            35.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Ether is the perfect drug for Las
             Vegas.  In this town they love a
             drunk.  Fresh meat.  So they put us
             through the turnstiles and turned
             us loose inside.

 INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

 Flames shoot up from below the casino.  Above, a HIGH WIRE
 ACT with FOUR MUZZLED WOLVERINES, SIX NYMPHET SISTERS FROM
 SAN DIEGO, TWO SILVER PAINTED POLACK BROTHERS, and THREE
 KOREAN KITTENS.

 The WOLVERINE chases a NYMPHET through the air.  TWO POLACKS
 swing at it from opposite sides and they are instantly
 locked in a death battle.

 All plummet to the nets suspended over the GAMBLING TABLES
 and SLOT MACHINES.  No one looks up.  The GAMBLERS REMAIN
 INTENT ON THE SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL, THE TURN OF THE CARD,
 THE ROLL OF A DICE.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Bazooko Circus is what the whole
             hep world would be doing Saturday
             night if the Nazis had won the war.
             This was the Sixth Reich.

 Something causes DUKE to look down.  A dwarf carrying drinks
 on a tray is tugging DUKE's pants leg trying to get him to
 move out of the way.

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             A drug person can learn to cope
             with things like seeing their dead
             grandmother crawling up their leg
             with a knife in her teeth but,
             nobody should be asked to handle
             this trip.

 GONZO and DUKE go upstairs walking past funhouse booths.
 One of them is manned by an orangutan in costume.  A
 FAIRGROUND BARKER grabs DUKE.

                          FAIRGROUND BARKER
             Stand in front of this fantastic
             machine, my friend.  For just 99
             cents your likeness will appear 200
             hundred feet tall on a screen above
             downtown Las Vegas.

 On a TV monitor a 200 FOOT HIGH DRUNKARD looms over the Las
 Vegas skyline screaming OBSCENITIES.
 .
                                                            36.


                          FAIRGROUND BARKER
             99 cents more for a voice message.
             Say whatever you want, fella.
             They'll hear you, don't worry about
             that.  Remember, you'll be 200 feet
             tall!

                          ANOTHER BARKER
             Step right up!  Shoot the pasties
             off the nipples of this ten-foot
             bull-dyke and win a cotton candy
             goat!

 INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

 DUKE and GONZO sit on the revolving platform.  GONZO
 stares -- glassy eyed -- coming apart.

                          GONZO
             I hate to say this, but this place
             is getting to me.  I think I'm
             getting The Fear.

                          DUKE
             Nonsense.  We came here to find the
             American Dream, and now we're right
             in the vortex you want to quit.
             You must realize that we've found
             the Main Nerve.

                          GONZO
             That's what gives me The Fear.

                          DUKE
             Look over there.  Two women fucking
             a Polar Bear.

                          GONZO
             Please, don't tell me those things...
             Not now.
                    (signals the waitress
                    for two Wild Turkeys)
             This is my last drink.  How much
             money can you lend me?

                          DUKE
             Not much.  Why?

                          GONZO
             I have to go.

                          DUKE
             GO?
 .
                                                            37.


                          GONZO
             Yes.  Leave the country.  Tonight.

                          DUKE
             Calm down.  You'll be straight in a
             few hours.

                          GONZO
             No.  This is serious.  One more
             hour in this town and I'll kill
             somebody!

                          DUKE
             OK.  I'll lend you some money.
             Let's go outside and see how much
             we have left.

                          GONZO
             Can we make it?

                          DUKE
             That depends on how many people we
             fuck with between here and the door.

                          GONZO
             I want to leave fast.

                          DUKE
             OK.  Lets pay this bill and get up
             very slowly.  It's going to be a
             long walk.
                    (signals waitress who
                    comes over)


                          GONZO
                    (suddenly to waitress)
             Do they pay you to screw that bear?

                          WAITRESS
             What?

                          DUKE
             He's just kidding.
                    (to GONZO)
             Come on, Doc -- lets go downstairs
             and gamble.

 GONZO trembles with fear -- walks to the edge of the
 turntable.

                          GONZO
             When does this thing stop?
 .
                                                            38.


                          DUKE
             It won't stop.  It's not ever going
             to stop.

 DUKE carefully steps off the turntable.

 GONZO, eyes staring blindly ahead, squiting in fear and
 confusion, rooted to the spot, is carried away.

                          DUKE
             Don't move you'll come around.

 DUKE reaches out to grab GONZO, who jumps back -- keeps
 going around.

 The BARTENDER narrows his eyes at them.

 DUKE steps onto the merry-go-round -- hurries round the
 bar -- approaching GONZO from the blind side and shoves
 GONZO from behind.  GONZO goes down with a hellish scream.
 DUKE approaches him with his hands in the air.  Smiling.

                          DUKE
             You fell.  Let's go.

 GONZO refuses to move and stands tense, fists clenched,
 looking for somebody to hit...an old woman perhaps?

                          DUKE (CONT'D)
             OK.  You stay here and go to jail.
             I'm leaving.

 DUKE walks fast towards the stairs.  GONZO catches up with
 him.

                          GONZO
             Did you see that?  Some sonofabitch
             kicked me in the back.

                          DUKE
             Probably the bartender.  He wanted
             to stomp you for what you said to
             the waitress.

                          GONZO
             Good God!  Let's get out of here!
             Where's the elevator?

                          DUKE
                    (turning him in the
                    opposite direction)
             Don't go near that elevator.
             That's just what they want us to
             do... trap us in a steel box and
             take us down to the basement.
 .
                                                            39.


 EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

 DUKE and GONZO stumble out of the entrance.

                          DUKE
             Don't run.  They'd like any excuse
             to shoot us.

                          GONZO
                    (in an extended fall)
             You drive!  I think there's
             something wrong with me.

 INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR... DUKE TAKING
 CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.

 GONZO STRUGGLES with the key in the lock.

                          GONZO
             Those bastards have changed the
             lock on us.  They probably searched
             the room.  Jesus, we're finished!

 The door SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN.  DUKE AND GONZO fall inside.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

                          GONZO
             Bolt everything!  Use all chains!

 DUKE locks the door.  The suite is crowded with ROOM SERVICE
 GOODIES.  DUKE turns to see GONZO staring at two hotel room
 keys.  EVERYTHING STOPS.

                          GONZO
             Where did this one come from?

 DUKE snatches a key.

                          DUKE
             That's Lacerda's room.

 GONZO smiles a slow smile...

                          GONZO
             Yeah... I thought we might need it...

                          DUKE
             What for?

 GONZO snatches the key back.
 .
                                                            40.


                          GONZO
             Let's go up there and blast him out
             of bed with the fire hose.

                          DUKE
             No, we should leave the poor
             bastard alone.  I get the feeling
             that he's avoiding us for some
             reason.

                          GONZO
             Don't kid yourself.  That Portuguese
             son of a bitch is dangerous.  He's
             watching us like a hawk.

                          DUKE
             He told me he was turning in early...

 GONZO utters an anguished cry -- slaps the wall with both
 hands.

                          GONZO
             That dirty bastard!  I knew it!
             He's got hold of my woman!

                          DUKE
                    (laughing)
             That little blonde groupie with the
             film crew?  You think he sodomized
             her?

                          GONZO
             That's right, laugh about it!  You
             goddamn honkies are all the same!

 GONZO SLASHES A GRAPEFRUIT with a HUGE RAZOR SHARP HUNTING
 KNIFE.  DUKE blanches.

                          DUKE
             Where'd you get that knife?

 GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- MANIACAL.

                          GONZO
             Room service sent it up.  I wanted
             something to cut the limes.

 GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- INTO EIGHTHS!

                          DUKE
             What limes?

 GONZO SLICES -- SIXTEENTHS!
 .
                                                            41.


                          GONZO
             They didn't have any.  They don't
             grow in the desert.

 SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!

                          GONZO
             That dirty toad bastard!  I knew I
             should have taken him out when I
             had the chance.  Now he has her.

 SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!

 DUKE watches -- straight-faced.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I remember the girl.  We'd had a
             problem with her in the elevator a
             few hours earlier: my attention had
             made a fool of himself.

 INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (FLASHBACK)

 An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF
 LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.

 DUKE and GONZO stagger in.

 LACERDA drops his smile.  He's standing beside the BLONDE TV
 REPORTER.  A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.

                          BLONDE TV REPORTER
                    (to Gonzo)
             You must be a rider.  What class
             are you in?

                          GONZO
             Class?  What the fuck do you mean?

                          BLONDE TV REPORTER
             What do you ride?  We're filming
             the race for a TV series -- maybe
             we can use you.

                          GONZO
             Use me?

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Mother of God, I thought.  Here it
             comes.

 GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY.  There's a moment of uncomfortable
 silence.
 .
                                                            42.


                          GONZO
                    (suddenly shouting)
             I ride the BIG ONES!  The really
             BIG fuckers!

 GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA.  DUKE laughs trying to
 defuse the scene.

                          DUKE
             The Vincent Black Shadow.  We're
             with the Factory Team.

                          TV CAMERAMAN
             Bullshit.

 GONZO stills -- becomes dangerous -- zeros in on the TV
 CAMERAMAN -- groin to groin...

                          GONZO
             Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but
             I think there's some kind of
             ignorant chicken-sucker in this car
             who needs his face cut open.  You
             cheap honky faggots!  Which one of
             you wants to get cut?!

 DEAD SILENCE.

 Ding!  The elevator door opens, but nobody moves.  The door
 closes.

 Next floor.  Ding!  The door opens again.  A middle-aged
 couple start to get in.  Change their minds.  The door closes.

 INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

 DUKE and GONZO run down the corridor.  GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.

                          GONZO
             Spooked!  They were spooked!  Like
             rats in a death cage!

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAY

 DUKE and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite -- BOLT THE DOOR.
 GONZO stops laughing.

                          GONZO
             Goddamn.  It's serious now.  That
             girl understood.  She fell in love
             with me.

 END FLASHBACK.
 .
                                                            43.


 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE --
 sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.

                          GONZO
             Let's go up there and castrate that
             fucker!

 GONZO pauses -- A MAD THOUGHT -- turns to DUKE.

                          GONZO
                    (squinting suspiciously)
             Have you made a deal with him?  Did
             you put him on to her?

                          DUKE
                    (backing slowly
                    towards the door)
             Look you better put that blade away
             and get your head straight.  I have
             to put the car in the lot.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             One of the things you learn, after
             years of dealing with drug people,
             is that you can turn your back on a
             person, but never turn your back on
             a drug.  Especially when it's
             waving a razor-sharp hunting knife
             in your eyes.

 INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL

 The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.

                          MAGAZINE REPORTER
             Las Vegas at dawn.  The racers are
             still asleep, the dust is still on
             the desert, fifty thousand dollars
             in prize money, slumbers darkly in
             the office safe at Del Webb's
             fabulous Mint Hotel...

 DUKE walks past the REPORTER -- into THE CASINO, THE SAD,
 MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES.  No joy.  DUKE watches.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Who are these people?  These faces!
             Where do they come from?  They look
             like caricatures of used car
             dealers from Dallas.
                          (MORE)
 .
                                                            44.


                          DUKE (V/O; CONT'D)
             And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell
             of a lot of them at four-thirty on
             a Monday morning.  Still humping
             the American dream, that vision of
             the big winner somehow emerging
             from the last minute predawn chaos
             of a stale Vegas casino.

 DUKE stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill
 on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.

                          DUKE
             You bastards!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             No.  Calm down.  Learn to ENJOY
             losing.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE walks back into the room.  We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF
 THREE DOG NIGHT'S "JOY TO THE WORLD."

 He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM - NIGHT

 Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub.
 Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface.  A
 large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor.  The
 shower is on -- the tub overflowing.  THE TAPE RECORDER
 PLAYS, from where it's plugged into the razor socket over
 the sink.

 DUKE turns off the shower -- notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED
 UP WHITE BLOTTER.

                          DUKE
             You ate ALL THIS ACID?

 No answer.

                          DUKE
                    (turning down the volume)
             You evil son of a bitch.  You
             better hope there's some Thorazine
             in that bag, because if there's
             not, you're in bad trouble.

                          GONZO
             Music!  Turn it up.  Put that tape
             on.
 .
                                                            45.


                          DUKE
             What tape?

                          GONZO
             Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit."
             I want a rising sound.

                          DUKE
             You're doomed.  I'm leaving here in
             two hours and then they're going to
             come up here and beat the mortal
             shit out of you with big saps.
             Right there in that tub.

                          GONZO
             I dig my own graves.  Green water
             and the White Rabbit.  Put it on.

                          DUKE
             OK.  But do me one last favor, will
             you.  Can you give me two hours?
             That's all I ask -- just two hours
             to sleep before tomorrow.  I
             suspect it's going to be a very
             difficult day.

 He switches on the tape. "WHITE RABBIT" begins to build.

                          GONZO
                    (coolly)
             Of course, I'm your attorney, I'll
             give you all the time you need, at
             my normal rates: $45 an hour -- but
             you'll be wanting a cushion, so,
             why don't you just lay one of those
             $100 bills down there beside the
             radio, and fuck off?

                          DUKE
             How about a check?

                          GONZO
             Whatever's right.

 DUKE moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and
 leaves, closing the door behind him.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE goes across to the sofa and crashes -- exhausted.
 Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.

                          GONZO (V/O)
             Help!  You bastard!  I need help!
 .
                                                            46.


 DUKE JUMPS up -- crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.

                          DUKE
             Shit, he's killing himself!

 INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

 DUKE RUSHES IN.  GONZO flails -- trying to reach the radio
 with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its
 mounts.

                          GONZO
                    (snarling)
             I want that fucking radio!

 DUKE GRABS THE RADIO.

                          DUKE
             Don't touch it!  Get back in that
             tub!

                          GONZO
             Back the tape up.  I need it again!
             Let it roll!  Just as high as the
             fucker can go!  And when it comes
             to that fantastic note where the
             rabbit bites its own head off, I
             want you to THROW THAT FUCKING
             RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!

 DUKE stares down at GONZO.

                          DUKE
             Not me.  It would blast you through
             the wall -- stone dead in ten
             seconds and they'd make me explain
             it!

                          GONZO
             BULLSHIT!  Don't make me use this.

 HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.

                          DUKE
             Jesus.

                          GONZO
             Do it!  I want to get HIGHER!

 DUKE considers this.  He's had enough.
 .
                                                            47.


                          DUKE
             Okay.  You're right.  This is
             probably the only solution.
                    (holds the PLUGGED IN
                    TAPE/RADIO over the tub)
             Let me make sure I have it all
             lined up.  You want me to throw
             this thing into the tub when "WHITE
             RABBIT" peaks.  Is that it?

 GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.

                          GONZO
             Fuck yes.  I was beginning to think
             I was going to have to go out and
             get one of the goddamn maids to do
             it.

                          DUKE
             Are you ready?

 He switches "WHITE RABBIT" back on.  GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS
 AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.

 Meanwhile, DUKE picks up a grapefruit from the sink -- a
 good two-pounder, he gets a grip on it... and when "WHITE
 RABBIT" peaks... HE HURLS IT INTO THE TUB LIKE A CANNONBALL.

 GONZO SCREAMS CRAZILY, THRASHING AND CHURNING -- CAUSING A
 TIDAL WAVE.

 DUKE JERKS THE RADIO CABLE OUT OF THE SOCKET -- SLAMS OUT OF
 THE BATHROOM.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE slumps onto the sofa.

 SILENCE.

 GONZO RIPS OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, his eyes unfocused.  HE
 WAVES THE RAZOR SHARP BLADE out in front of him -- LUNGES at
 DUKE.  DUKE WHIPS OUT A CAN OF MACE.

                          DUKE
             MACE!  YOU WANT THIS?

 GONZO stops -- hisses.

                          GONZO
             You bastard!  You'd do that,
             wouldn't you?
 .
                                                            48.


                          DUKE
                    (laughs)
             Why worry?  You'll like it.  Nothing
             in the world like a Mace high.
             Forty-five minutes on your knees
             with the dry heaves...

                          GONZO
             You cheap honky sonofabitch...

                          DUKE
             Why not?  Hell, just a minute ago,
             you were asking me to kill you!
             And now you want to kill me!  What
             I should do, goddamnit, is call the
             police!

                          GONZO
             The cops?

                          DUKE
             There's no choice.  I wouldn't dare
             go to sleep with you wandering
             around with a head full of acid and
             wanting to slice me up with that
             goddamn knife!

                          GONZO
                    (mumbles)
             Who said anything about slicing you
             up?  I just wanted to carve a
             little Z on your forehead.  Nothing
             serious.

 GONZO shrugs and reaches for a cigarette on top of the TV set.

                          DUKE
                    (menaces him with the MACE)
             Get back in that tub.  Eat some
             reds and try to calm down.  Smoke
             some grass, shoot some smack --
             shit, do whatever you have to do,
             but let me get some rest.

 GONZO turns toward the bathroom -- suddenly sad.

                          GONZO
             Hell, yes.  You really need some
             sleep.  You have to work.  Goddamn.
             What a bummer.  Try to rest.  Don't
             let me keep you up.
 .
                                                            49.


 GONZO shuffles back into the bathroom.  DUKE wedges a chair
 up against the bathroom doorknob and puts the mace can next
 to the clock.

 DUKE turns on the TV.  WHITE NOISE FILLS THE ROOM.  He
 collapses onto the sofa and lights up his lightbulb as pipe.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.
             Just another ugly refugee from the
             Love Generation.

 The WHITE NOISE snow storm on the TV is reflected in his
 face.  The camera pulls back revealing THE ENTIRE WALL
 BEHIND HIM TO BE SWIRLING WITH THE FIZZING SNOWSTORM PATTERN.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             My attorney had never been able to
             accept the notion -- often espoused
             by former drug abusers -- that you
             can get a lot higher without drugs
             than with them.  And neither have
             I, for that matter.

 The pattern on the wall changes to A 60'S VISCOUS OIL
 LIGHTSHOW PATTERN.  With DUKE still sitting in the
 foreground, the projected image widens to reveal the interior
 of A HAIGHT ASHBURY DANCE HALL full of DANCING PROTO-HIPPIES.

 INT. MATRIX CLUB - NIGHT

 A slightly YOUNGER DUKE moves through the throng.  All the
 action is in a DREAMLIKE SLOW-MOTION.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I recall one night in the Matrix.
             There I was -- a victim of the Drug
             Explosion.  A natural street freak,
             just eating whatever came by.

 A ROAD-PERSON with a big pack on his back is shouting.  The
 sound of his voice, like his movements, is in slow-motion.

                          ROAD-PERSON
             Anybody want some L...S...D...?  I
             got all the makin's right here.
             All I need is a place to cook.

 The camera pushes right into the ROAD-PERSON's mouth.

 INT. MATRIX MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

 Still in slow motion, the YOUNGER DUKE is trying to eat a
 HUGE SPANSULE OF ACID.  With difficulty.
 .
                                                            50.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             I decided to eat only half at first.
             Good thinking.  But I spilled the
             rest on the sleeve of my red
             Pendleton shirt.

 DUKE stares at his sleeve, uncertain what to do.  C/U of the
 door to the men's room as a MUSICIAN enters speaking in
 slow-motion.

                          MUSICIAN
             What's the trouble?

                          DUKE
                    (also in slow-motion)
             Well, all this white stuff on my
             sleeve is LSD.

 The MUSICIAN approaches and looks down at DUKE'S arm.  A
 long pause.

 Cut back to tight shot of door as it opens and a very clean-
 cut, PREPPY, STOCKBROKER TYPE enters.  He freezes in horror.
 We cut to his POV.  DUKE is standing in the middle of the
 men's room with the MUSICIAN hunkered down at his side...
 sucking on his sleeve.  A very gross tableau.  The
 STOCKBROKER slowly eases out of the room.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             With a bit of luck his life was
             ruined -- forever thinking that
             just behind some narrow door in all
             his favorite bars, men in red
             Pendleton shirts are getting
             incredible kicks from things he'll
             never know.

 INT. A BAR - YEARS LATER - NIGHT

 The STOCKBROKER LOOKING CONSIDERABLY OLDER sits looking
 lost, confused, a nervous wreck.  The image flares out in a
 TV white noise snowstorm.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE sits staring at the TV.
 .
                                                            51.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Strange memories on this nervous
             night in Las Vegas.
                    (he gets up, pours
                    himself a drink)
             Has it been five years?  Six?  It
             seems like a lifetime -- the kind
             of peak that never comes again.
             San Francisco in the middle sixties
             was a very special time and place
             to be a part of.  But no
             explanation, no mix of words or
             music or memories can touch that
             sense of knowing that you were
             there and alive in that corner of
             time and the world.  Whatever it
             meant.

 DUKE throws open the curtains.  Light streams in.

 EXT. 1965 STOCK FOOTAGE

 We are in SAN FRANCISCO.  IMAGES OF THE TIME FLOOD IN.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             THERE WAS MADNESS IN ANY DIRECTION,
             AT ANY HOUR... YOU COULD STRIKE
             SPARKS ANYWHERE.  THERE WAS A
             FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL SENSE THAT
             WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT,
             THAT WE WERE WINNING.  AND THAT, I
             THINK, WAS THE HANDLE -- THAT SENSE
             OF INEVITABLE VICTORY OVER THE
             FORCES OF OLD AND EVIL.  NOT IN ANY
             MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE; WE DIDN'T
             NEED THAT.  OUR ENERGY WOULD SIMPLY
             prevail.  We had all the momentum;
             we were riding the crest of a high
             and beautiful wave...

 DUKE'S FACE IS SUFFUSED WITH A SADNESS AND SERENITY WE HAVE
 NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             So now, less than five years later,
             you can go up on a steep hill in
             Las Vegas and look west, and with
             the right kind of eyes you can
             almost see the high water mark --
             that place where the wave finally
             broke and rolled back.
 .
                                                            52.


 The memories dissolve into the night skyline of Vegas.
 Suddenly towering over the casinos is a 200 foot high Nazi
 shouting "WOODSTOCK �BER ALLES!"

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE closes the curtain.  The room is in darkness again.

 INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAWN

 A harsh door buzzer.  DUKE jerks awake.  Alone.  Looking
 like shit.  Around him is the wreckage of their stay.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The decision to flee came suddenly.
             Or maybe not.

 DUKE opens the door to a BELL BOY with a trolley load of
 fruit, drinks and flowers... and a smile.

                          BELL BOY
             Room service!

 The BELL BOY wheels the trolley across the room -- already
 stacked with EVEN MORE BOXES OF GOODIES.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Maybe I'd planned it all along --
             subconsciously waiting for the
             right moment.  The bill was a
             factor, I think.  Because I had no
             money to pay for it.

 DUKE slams the door -- starts FRANTICALLY PACKING.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Our room service tabs had been
             running somewhere between $29 and
             $36 per hour, for forty-eight
             consecutive hours.  Incredible.
             How could it happen?

 DUKE sees the DISCARDED WRAPPINGS OF EXPENSIVE, HAND TOOLED
 LUGGAGE.  A sudden thought.  He rushes to GONZO's room --
 empty.  His plastic briefcase remains on the bed...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             But by the time I asked this
             question, there was no one around
             to answer.

 DUKE opens the briefcase -- finds the .357 MAGNUM inside.
 .
                                                            53.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             My attorney was gone.  He must have
             sensed trouble.

                                             QUICK CUT TO:

 EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY

 GONZO WAVES GOODBYE as he boards an airplane with a set of
 brand-new fine cowhide luggage.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Panic.

 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE HOTEL SUITE - DAY

 DUKE emerges with his bag and Gonzo's plastic briefcase --
 leaves the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door -- checks both
 ways, then hurries away down the corridor.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It crept up my spine like first
             rising vibes of an acid frenzy.
             All these horrible realities began
             to dawn on me.

 INT. MINT HOTEL ELEVATOR - DAY

 An anxiety ridden DUKE watches the floor numbers as the
 elevator descends.  He searches his pockets...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Here I was, alone in Las Vegas,
             with this goddamned incredibly
             expensive car, completely twisted
             on drugs, no cash, no story for the
             magazine.  And on top of everything
             else I had a gigantic goddamn hotel
             bill to deal with.

 DUKE finds a last crumpled $5 bill.

 The door opens.  A SECURITY GUARD enters with an OLD LADY IN
 HANDCUFFS.

 DUKE hides the bill -- crams back into the corner.  Doors
 close.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I didn't even know who had won the
             race.  Maybe nobody.
 .
                                                            54.


 INT. MINT HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

 DUKE hurries out of the elevator -- eyes on a hovering
 MANAGER.  Past the curious look of the reception CLERK.

                          DUKE
                    (muttering to himself)
             How would Horatio Alger have
             handled this situation?

 EXT. MINT HOTEL - DAY

 Motoring, DUKE gives his $5 bill to the HOTEL FRONT DOORMAN
 with a smile.  The DOORMAN blows a frantic whistle and waves
 at the CAR BOY.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Stay calm.  Stay calm.  I'm a
             relatively respectable citizen -- a
             multiple felon, perhaps, but
             certainly not dangerous.

 The CAR BOY pulls up with a screech.  DUKE jumps in.  The
 back seat is stacked with bars of Neutrogena, piles of Mint
 400 t-shirts, boxes of grapefruit.

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             Luckily, I had taken the soap and
             grapefruit and other luggage out to
             the car a few hours earlier.  Now
             it was only a matter of slipping
             the noose...

 DUKE shifts into drive.  Deliverance!

                          CLERK'S VOICE
             MR. DUKE!

 DUKE freezes.

                          CLERK'S VOICE
             Mr. Duke!  We've been looking for
             you!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The game was up!  They had me.

                          DUKE
                    (to himself)
             Well, why not?  Many fine books
             have been written in prison.
 .
                                                            55.


 Resigned, DUKE turns off the ignition.  A young CLERK
 arrives breathlessly with a smile and a YELLOW LETTER IN HIS
 HAND.

                          CLERK
             Sir?
                    (thrusts out a TELEGRAM)
             This telegram came for you.
             Actually, it isn't for you.  It's
             for somebody named Thompson, but it
             says 'care of Raoul Duke'.  does
             that make sense?

                          DUKE
                    (barely able to speak)
             Yes... It makes sense.

 DUKE stuffs the telegram into his top pocket.

 The CLERK peers into the car -- sees part of the enormous
 stash inside.

                          CLERK
             I checked the register for this man
             Thompson.  We don't show him but I
             figured he might be part of your
             team.

                          DUKE
             He is.  Don't worry, I'll get it to
             him.

 He fires up the engine -- eases the RED SHARK into low gear.

 SECURITY GUARDS are looking across -- sharing a quiet word
 or two.

                          CLERK
             What confused us was Dr. Gonzo's
             signature on the telegram from Los
             Angeles.  When we knew he was right
             here in the hotel.

                          DUKE
             You did the right thing.  Never try
             to understand a press message.
             About half the time we use codes --
             especially with Dr. Gonzo.

                          CLERK
             Tell me.  When will the doctor be
             awake?
 .
                                                            56.


                          DUKE
                    (tenses)
             Awake?  What do you mean?

 DUKE's eyes are on the SECURITY GUARDS -- moving closer.

                          CLERK
                    (uncomfortably)
             Well... the manager, Mr. Heem,
             would like to meet him.  Nothing
             unusual.  Mr. Heem likes to meet
             all our large accounts... put them
             on a personal basis... just a chat
             and a handshake, you understand.

                          DUKE
             Of course.  But if I were you, I'd
             leave the Doctor alone until after
             he's eaten breakfast.  He's a very
             crude man.

 DUKE edges the car forward, but is stopped by the CLERK.

                          CLERK
             But he will be available?  Perhaps
             later this morning?

                          DUKE
             Look.  That telegram was all
             scrambled.  It was actually from
             Thompson, not to him.  Western
             Union must have gotten the names
             reversed.  I have to get going.  I
             have to get out to the track.

                          CLERK
             There's no hurry!  The race is over!

                          DUKE
                    (taking off)
             Not for me.

 He waves the CLERK off the car -- roars away.

                          CLERK
             Let's have lunch!

                          DUKE
             Righto!

 EXT. ROAD OUT OF VEGAS - DAY

 DUKE drives the RED SHARK out of Vegas.
 .
                                                            57.


 A "YOU ARE LEAVING LAS VEGAS" sign flashes past.

 Bob Dylan plays: "Memphis Blues Again -- "Aaww, Mama, can
 this really by the end...?"

 A sign: LOS ANGELES -- 400 miles.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Jesus, bad waves of paranoia,
             madness, fear and loathing --
             intolerable vibrations in this
             place.  Get out!  The weasels were
             closing in.  I could smell the ugly
             brutes.  Flee!

 DUKE drives fast.

                          DUKE
             Do me one last favor Lord: just
             give me five more high-speed hours
             before you bring the hammer down;
             just let me get rid of this goddamn
             car and off of this horrible desert.

 A sign flashes "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."

 A patrol car pulls out behind him, lights flashing.

                          DUKE (CONT'D)
             You evil bastard!  This is your
             work!  You'd better take care of
             me, Lord... because if you don't
             you're going to have me on your
             hands.

 The patrol car screams after the RED SHARK.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Few people understand the psychology
             of dealing with a Highway Traffic
             Cop.  Your normal speeder will
             panic and immediately pull over to
             the side.  This is wrong.

 DUKE floors the gas pedal.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It arouses contempt in the cop heart.

 THE SPEEDOMETER CLIMBS STEADILY.
 .
                                                            58.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             Make the bastard chase you.  He
             will follow.  But he won't know
             what to make of your blinker signal
             that says you're about to turn right.

 DUKE signals right.  The RED SHARK screams at 120 mph.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             This is to let him know you're
             looking for a proper place to pull
             off and talk.

 AN EXIT OFF RAMP: MAX SPEED 25.

 DUKE hits the brakes.  The COP brakes.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It will take him a moment to
             realize that he is about to make
             180 degree turn at speed... but you
             will be ready for it, braced for
             the G's and the fast heel toe work.

 The patrol car spins and fishtails crazily out of control.

 EXT. SCENIC PICNIC AREA - DAY

 The patrol car comes skidding around the corner.  DUKE
 stands beside the RED SHARK, completely relaxed and smiling.

 The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN gets out of the car, screaming.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             Just what the FUCK did you think
             you were doing?!

 DUKE smiles.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             May I see your license.

                          DUKE
             Of course, officer.

 DUKE reaches for it.  And BOTH MEN look down at a beer
 can -- which DUKE had, somehow, forgotten was in his hand.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I knew I was fucked.

 The COP relaxes -- actually smiles... He reaches out for
 DUKE's wallet, then holds out his other hand for the beer.
 .
                                                            59.


                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             Could I have that, please?

                          DUKE
             Why not?  It was getting warm anyway.

 The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN takes it, pours out the beer --
 glances in the back seat of the RED SHARK.  Amongst the bars
 of soap... A case of warm beer.  DUKE smiles back at him.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             You realize...

                          DUKE
             Yeah.  I know.  I'm guilty.  I
             understand that.  I knew it was a
             crime but I did it anyway.  Shit,
             why argue?  I'm a fucking criminal.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             That's a strange attitude.

 He looks at DUKE thoughtfully.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             You know -- I get the feeling you
             could use a nap.  There's a rest
             area up ahead.  Why don't you pull
             over and sleep a few hours?

                          DUKE
             A nap won't help.  I've been awake
             for too long -- three or four
             nights.  I can't even remember.  If
             I go to sleep now, I'm dead for
             twenty hours.

 The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN smiles.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             Okay.  Here's how it is.  What goes
             into my book, as of noon, is that I
             apprehended you... for driving too
             fast, and advised you to proceed no
             further than the next rest area...
             your stated destination, right?
             Where you plan to take a long nap.
             Do I make myself clear?

                          DUKE
             How far is Baker?  I was hoping to
             stop there for lunch.
 .
                                                            60.


                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             Not my jurisdiction.  The city
             limits are two point two miles
             beyond the rest area.  Can you make
             it that far?

                          DUKE
             I'll try.  I've been wanting to go
             to Baker for a long time.  I've
             heard a lot about it.

 The PATROLMAN holds the door for DUKE who gets in.

                          HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
             Excellent seafood.  With a mind
             like yours, you'll probably want to
             try the land-crab.  Try the Majestic
             Diner.

 The PATROLMAN slams the door shut.

 EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

 DUKE drives away -- teeth gritted.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I felt raped.  The Pig had done me
             on all fronts, and now he was going
             off to chuckle about it -- on the
             west side of town, waiting for me
             to make a run for L.A.

 DUKE drives past the rest area to an intersection where he
 signals to turn right into Baker.  As he approaches the turn
 he sees the HITCHHIKER!  As DUKE slows to make the turn
 their eyes meet.  DUKE is about to wave -- but the HITCHHIKER
 drops his thumb.

                          DUKE
             Great Jesus, it's him.

 DUKE, spooked, SPINS THE RED SHARK round -- ROARS BACK THE
 WAY HE CAME.

 EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

 DUKE on the public phone booth -- screaming.

                          DUKE
             They've nailed me!  I'm trapped in
             some stinking desert crossroads
             called Baker.  I don't have much
             time.  The fuckers are closing in.
             They'll hunt me down like a beast!
 .
                                                            61.


 INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

 GONZO sits surrounded by legal papers and law books.  Mexican
 Day of the Dead masks hang from the walls -- flame-red demons.

                          GONZO
             Who?  You sound a little paranoid.

 EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

 DUKE screams -- sweat pouring.

                          DUKE
             You bastard!  I need a lawyer
             immediately!

 INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

                          GONZO
             What are you doing in Baker?
             Didn't you get my telegram?

 EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

                          DUKE
             What?  Fuck telegrams.  I'm in
             trouble.  You worthless bastard.
             I'll cripple your ass for this!
             All that shit in the car is yours!
             You understand that?  When I finish
             testifying out here you'll be
             disbarred!

 INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

                          GONZO
             You're supposed to be in Vegas.  We
             have a suite at the Flamingo.  I
             was just about to leave for the
             airport.

 INT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

 DUKE pulls out the telegram from his top pocket.

                          GONZO'S VOICE
             You brainless scumbag!  You're
             supposed to be covering the National
             District Attorney's conference!  I
             made all the reservations... rented
             a white Cadillac convertible... the
             whole thing is arranged!  What the
             hell are you doing out there in the
             middle of the fucking desert?
 .
                                                            62.


 DUKE stares at the telegram.

                          DUKE
             Never mind.  It's all a big joke.
             I'm actually sitting beside the
             pool at the Flamingo.  I'm talking
             from a portable phone.  Some dwarf
             brought it out from the casino.  I
             have total credit!  Can you grasp
             that?
                    (shouts)
             Don't come anywhere near this place!
             Foreigners aren't welcome here!

 DUKE, breathing heavily, hangs up phone.

 EXT. DESERT - DAY

 C/U of .357 Magnum cylinder being spun.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Well.  This is how the world works.

 C/U An IGUANA basks in the sun.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             All energy flows according to the
             whims of the Great Magnet.

 C/U Barrel of the gun.  It fires.  An explosion of desert
 dirt.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             What a fool I was to defy Him.

 The IGUANA sits unfazed.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Never cross the Great Magnet.  I
             understood this now...
                    (another blast from
                    the gun)
             ... and with understanding came a
             sense of almost terminal relief.

 DUKE stands alone in the vast desert firing at nothing, the
 thuds of the explosions echo away.

 EXT. ROAD INTO VEGAS - DAY

 The RED SHARK driving back towards Las Vegas.
 .
                                                            63.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             I had to get rid of The Shark.  Too
             many people might recognize it...
             ...especially the Vegas Police.
                    (tight C/U of DUKE)
             Luckily, my credit card was still
             technically valid.

 PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

 DUKE, now driving a white Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- THE
 WHITE WHALE.

 DUKE pushes buttons -- lowers the top.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             This was a superior machine -- ten
             grand worth of gimmicks and high
             price special effects.  The rear
             windows leapt up with a touch like
             frogs in a dynamited pond.  The
             dashboard was full of esoteric
             lights and dials and meters that I
             would never understand.

 EXT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - AFTERNOON

 A GIANT SIGN: THE FLAMINGO WELCOMES THE NATIONAL DA'S
 CONFERENCE ON NARCOTICS & DANGEROUS DRUGS.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             If the Pigs were gathering in
             Vegas, I felt the Drug Culture
             should be represented as well...
             and there was a certain bent appeal
             in the notion of running a savage
             burn on one Las Vegas hotel and
             then just wheeling across town and
             checking into another.

 The WHITE WHALE turns into a VIP parking slot, immediately
 attended by impressed MINIONS.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Me and a thousand ranking cops from
             all over America.  Why not?  Move
             confidently into their midst.

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL LOBBY - AFTERNOON

 DUKE enters -- old Levis, grubby sneakers, 10 peso Acapulco
 shirt coming apart at the seams, 3 day growth, eyes hidden
 behind mirror shades.  He heads for the check-in line.
 .
                                                            64.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             My arrival was badly timed.

 THE PLACE IS FULL OF COPS.  200 of them, on vacation, all
 dressed in cut price Vegas casuals: plaid Bermuda shorts,
 Arnie Palmer golf shirts, and rubberized beach sandals.

 Ahead of DUKE -- A POLICE CHIEF argues with the DESK CLERK.
 The POLICE CHIEF'S AGNEW STYLE WIFE stands to the side,
 weeping.  The POLICE CHIEF'S FRIENDS stand uneasily around.

                          POLICE CHIEF
             What do you mean I'm too late to
             register?  I'm a police chief.
             From Michigan.  Look, fella, I told
             you.
                    (waves a POSTCARD)
             I have a postcard here that says I
             have reservations in this hotel.

                          CLERK
                    (prissily)
             I'm sorry, sir.  You're on the
             "late list." Your reservations were
             transferred to the... ah...
             Moonlight Motel, which is out on
             Paradise Boulevard...

                          POLICE CHIEF
             I've already paid for my goddamn
             room!

                          CLERK
             It's actually a very fine place of
             lodging and only sixteen blocks
             from here, with its own pool and...

                          POLICE CHIEF
             You dirty little faggot!  Call the
             manager!  I'm tired of listening to
             this dogshit!

 FRIENDS restrain the POLICE CHIEF.

                          CLERK
                    (solicitously)
             I'm so sorry, sir.  May I call you
             a cab?

 The POLICE CHIEF's screamed insults fade away...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Of course, I could hear what the
             Clerk was really saying...
 .
                                                            65.


                          CLERK
                    (IN DUKE'S IMAGINATION)
             Listen, you fuzzy little shithead --
             I've been fucked around, in my
             time, by a fairly good cross-
             section of mean-tempered rule-crazy
             cops and now it's MY turn. "Fuck
             you, officer, I'm in charge here,
             and I'm telling you we don't have
             room for you."

 DUKE steps to the desk, around the raging POLICE CHIEF.

                          DUKE
             Say.  I hate to interrupt, but I
             wonder if maybe I could just sort
             of slide through and get out of
             your way.  Name's Raoul Duke --
             Raoul Duke.  My attorney made the
             reservation.

 DUKE snaps a credit card down onto the counter.  EVERYONE
 goes silent.  The POLICE CHIEF GROUP stares at him like he
 was some kid of water rat crawling up to the desk.  The
 CLERK hits the bell for the BELLBOY.

                          CLERK
             Certainly, Mr. Duke!

                          DUKE
             My bags are out there in that white
             Cadillac convertible.  Can you have
             someone drive it around to the room?

 ALL EYES turn to the gleaming WHITE WHALE.

                          DUKE
             Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild
             Turkey, two fifths of Baccardi, and
             a night's worth of ice delivered to
             my room, please?

                          CLERK
             Don't worry about a thing, sir.
             Just enjoy your stay.

                          DUKE
             Well, thank you.

 DUKE gives the POLICE CHIEF a polite smile -- crosses to the
 elevator -- turns to face the GAWPING COPS -- pops a can of
 beer and toasts them.  The doors close.
 .
                                                            66.


 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

 DUKE rams the key home -- swings the door open.

                          DUKE
             Ah, home at last!

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - AFTERNOON

 DUKE enters.  The door hits something with a thud.

 A 16-year-old GIRL with the aura of an angry Pit Bull.

 GONZO stands in the bathroom doorway -- stark naked with a
 drug-addled grin on his face.

                          DUKE
             You degenerate pig!

                          GONZO
             It can't be helped.  This is Lucy.
                    (laughing distractedly)
             You know--like "Lucy In The Sky
             With Diamonds."

 LUCY eyes DUKE venomously.

                          GONZO
             Lucy!  Lucy, be cool, goddamnit!
             Remember what happened at the
             airport!  No more of that, okay?

 LUCY keeps her eyes on DUKE.  GONZO idles over and puts his
 arm round her shoulder.

                          GONZO
             Lucy... this is my client.  This is
             Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.
             He's paying for this suite, Lucy.
             He's on our side.

 DUKE flops onto the sofa.

                          GONZO
             Mr. Duke is my friend.  He loves
             artists.

 DUKE notices for the first time that the room is full of
 artwork.  Maybe 40 or 50 portraits, some in oil, some in
 charcoal, all more or less the same size and same face.

                          GONZO
             Lucy paints portraits of Barbra
             Streisand.
 .
                                                            67.


                          LUCY
             I drew these from TV.

                          GONZO
             Fantastic.  She came all the way
             down here from Montana just to give
             these portraits to Barbra.  We're
             going over to the Americana Hotel
             tonight to meet her backstage...

 DUKE's voice rises above GONZO.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I desperately needed peace, rest,
             sanctuary.  I hadn't counted on
             this.  Finding my attorney on acid
             and locked into some kind of
             preternatural courtship.

                          DUKE
             Well, I guess they brought the car
             round by now.  LET'S GET THE STUFF
             OUT OF THE TRUNK.

 DUKE fixes GONZO hard.

                          GONZO
             Absolutely, LET'S GET THE STUFF.
                    (to LUCY)
             Now, we'll be right back.  Don't
             answer the phone if it rings.

                          LUCY
                    (makes one-fingered
                    Jesus freak sign)
             God bless.

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

 DUKE collars GONZO -- serious.

                          DUKE
             WELL?  What are your plans?

                          GONZO
             Plans?

                          DUKE
             Lucy.
 .
                                                            68.


                          GONZO
                    (struggling to focus)
             Shit.  I met her on the plane and I
             had all that acid.
                    (he shrugs)
             You know, those little blue barrels.
             I gave her a cap before I realized...
             she's a religious freak... Jesus,
             she's never even had a drink.

                          DUKE
             Well... It'll probably work out.
             We can keep her loaded and peddle
             her ass at the drug convention.

 GONZO stares uneasily at DUKE.

                          GONZO
             Listen, she's running away from
             home for something like the fifth
             time in six months.  It's terrible.

                          DUKE
             She's perfect for this gig.  These
             cops will go fifty bucks a head to
             beat her into submission and then
             gang fuck her.  We can set her up
             in one of these back street motels,
             hang pictures of Jesus all over the
             room, then turn these pigs loose on
             her... Hell she's strong; she'll
             hold her own.

 GONZO's face twitches badly.

                          GONZO
             Jesus Christ.  I knew you were sick
             but I never expected to hear you
             actually say that kind of stuff.

                          DUKE
             It's straight economics.  This girl
             is a god-send.  Shit, she can make
             us a grand a day.

                          GONZO
             NO!  Stop talking like that.

                          DUKE
             I figure she can do about four at a
             time.  Christ, if we keep her full
             of acid that's more like two grand
             a day.  Maybe three.
 .
                                                            69.


                          GONZO
             You filthy bastard.  I should cave
             your fucking head in.

                          DUKE
             In a few hours, she'll probably be
             sane enough to work herself into a
             towering Jesus-based rage at the
             hazy recollection of being seduced
             by some kind of cruel Samoan who
             fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her
             to a Vegas hotel room and savagely
             penetrated every orifice in her
             body with his throbbing,
             uncircumcised member.

 GONZO starts crying.

                          GONZO
             NO!  I felt sorry for the girl, I
             wanted to help her!

                          DUKE
             You'll go straight to the gas
             chamber.  And even if you manage to
             beat that, they'll send you back to
             Nevada for Rape and Consensual
             Sodomy.  She's got to go.

 Pause.

                          GONZO
             Shit, it doesn't pay to try to help
             somebody these days.

 A silence.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The only alternative was to take
             her out to the desert and feed her
             remains to the lizards.  But, it
             seemed a bit heavy for the thing we
             were trying to protect: My attorney.

                          GONZO
             We have to cut her loose.  She's
             got two hundred dollars.  And we
             can always call the cops up there
             in Montana, where she lives, and
             turn her in.

                          DUKE
             What?... What kind of goddamn
             monster are you?
 .
                                                            70.


                          GONZO
             It just occurred to me, that she
             has no witnesses.  Anything that
             she says about us is completely
             worthless.

                          DUKE
             Us?

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - SUNSET

 DUKE is speaking into the phone in hushed tones.

                          DUKE
             Hotel Americana?  I need a
             reservation.  For my niece.  Listen,
             I need her treated very gently.
             She's an artist, and might seem a
             trifle highstrung...

 In the background GONZO helps LUCY and her paintings out the
 door.

                          GONZO
             Okay, Lucy, it's time to go meet
             Barbra...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I felt like a Nazi, but it had to
             be done.

 EXT. ON THE STREETS - A CAB STAND - DUSK

 The WHITE WHALE pulls up -- DUKE at the wheel.  GONZO helps
 LUCY and her paintings from the car.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Lucy was a potentially fatal
             millstone on both our necks.  There
             was absolutely no choice but to cut
             her adrift and hope her memory was
             fucked.

 GONZO unrolls a couple of bills -- pays off a CAB DRIVER --
 waves to LUCY in the back with her paintings.  She's starting
 to come down...

 GONZO gets back in the WHITE WHALE and slaps his hands
 together as if washing his hands of the situation.

                          GONZO
             Well that's that.  Take off slowly.
             Don't attract attention.
 .
                                                            71.


 They pull out into traffic.

 EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - DUSK

                          GONZO
             I gave the cabbie an extra ten
             bucks to make sure she gets there
             safe.  Also, I told him I'd be
             there myself in an hour, and if she
             wasn't, I'd come back out here and
             rip his lungs out.

                          DUKE
             That's good.  You can't be subtle
             in this town.

                          GONZO
             As your attorney, I advise you to
             tell me where you put the goddamn
             mescaline.

                          DUKE
             Maybe we should take it easy tonight.

                          GONZO
             Right.  Let's find a good seafood
             restaurant and eat some red salmon.
             I feel a powerful lust for red
             salmon...

 The electric WHITE WHALE heads off down the Strip.  The
 sun's going down behind the scrub hills, a good Kristofferson
 tune croaks on the radio in the warm dusk.

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - BATHROOM - NEXT MORNING

 GONZO throws up in the toilet bowl.

 In the background, DUKE opens curtains.  Daylight blinds him.

                          DUKE
             Come on, we're going to be late.

 GONZO looks up at his sick reflection -- wipes his mouth
 with a towel.

                          GONZO
             This goddamn mescaline.  Why the
             fuck can't they make it a little
             less pure?  Maybe mix it up with
             Rolaids or something.
 .
                                                            72.


 INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - DAY

                          EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
                    (crackling and
                    booming over the
                    lousy sound system)
             On behalf of the prosecuting
             attorneys of this county, I welcome
             you to the Third National DA's
             Conference on Narcotics and
             Dangerous Drugs.

 The EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR -- well groomed, GOP businessman
 type -- speaks from the podium.  A banner behind him reads:
 NATIONAL DA'S CONVENTION 1971. "If You Don't Know, Come To
 Learn... If You Know, Come To Teach."

 A BIG MIXED CROWD: TOP LEVEL STRAIGHT COPS, UNDERCOVER NARCS
 AND OTHER TWILIGHT TYPES -- beards, mustaches and super-Mod
 dress.  Just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you can't be
 WITH IT!  However, for every URBAN-HIPSTER there are around
 20 REDNECKS.

 A dozen big, low-fidelity speakers mounted on steel poles
 distort and feed back the EXECUTIVE's voice through the room.

 At the back, under a loudspeaker, sits DUKE -- $40 FBI
 wingtips, a Pat Boone madras sportcoat, and an official name
 tag: RAOUL DUKE, PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, L.A.

 GONZO sits beside him.  His name tag: DR. GONZO.  EXPERT,
 CRIMINAL DRUG ANALYSIS.  He's nervous -- close to the edge.

                          GONZO
                    (lowers his voice)
             I saw these bastards in Easy Rider,
             but I didn't believe they were real.
             Not like this.  Not hundreds of them!

                          DUKE
             They're actually nice people when
             you get to know them.

                          GONZO
             Man, I know these people in my
             goddamn blood!

                          DUKE
             Don't mention that word around here.
             You'll get them excited.

                          GONZO
             This is a fucking nightmare.
 .
                                                            73.


                          DUKE
             Right.  Sure as hell some dope-
             dealing bomb freak is going to
             recognize you and put the word out
             that you're partying with a thousand
             cops.

                          COP IN BACK
             SSSSHHH!

 DR. BLUMQUIST -- a "drug expert" -- takes the stage.

                          DR. BLUMQUIST
             We must come to terms with the Drug
             Culture in the country... country...
             country...

 The sound systems echoes.

                          DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)
             The reefer butt is called a "roach,"
             because it resembles a cockroach...
             cockroach... cockroach...

                          GONZO
                    (whispers)
             What the fuck are these people
             talking about?  You'd have to be
             crazy on acid to think a joint
             looked like a goddamn cockroach!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             It was clear that we had stumbled
             into a prehistoric gathering.

                          DR. BLUMQUIST
             Now, there are four states of being
             in the cannabis, or marijuana,
             society: Cool, Groovy, Hip, and
             Square.  The square is seldom if
             ever cool.  He is not "with it,"
             that is, he doesn't know "what's
             happening." But if he manages to
             figure it out, he moves up a notch
             to "hip."

 DUKE and GONZO listen in disbelief.

                          DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)
             And if he can bring himself to
             approve of what is happening, he
             becomes "groovy." After that, with
             much luck and perseverance, he can
             rise to the rank of "cool." A cool
             guy... cool guy... cool guy...
 .
                                                            74.


                          COP IN BACK
             Dr. Bloomquist, do you think the
             anthropologist, Margaret Mead's
             strange behavior of late might
             possibly be explained by a private
             marijuana addiction?

                          DR. BLUMQUIST
             I really don't know, but at her
             age, if she did smoke grass, she'd
             have one hell of a trip!

 Roars of laughter.

                          GONZO
             I know a hell of a lot better ways
             to waste my time than listening to
             this bullshit.

 He stands, knocking the ashtray off his chair arm, and
 plunges down the aisle to the door.

                          COP IN BACK
             Down in front!

                          GONZO
             Fuck you!  I have to get out!  I
             don't belong here!

                          COP IN BACK
             Good riddance!

 He stumbles from the room.  DUKE turns his attention back to
 the stage.

 The lights go down.  A black & white film -- REEFER
 MADNESS! -- illustrates his now evangelical talk.

                          FILM NARRATOR
             KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND!  YOUR LIFE
             MAY DEPEND ON IT!  You will not be
             able to see his eyes because of
             Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will
             be white from inner tension...

 DUKE turns his attention to a 340 pound TEXAN POLICE CHIEF
 who necks with his 290 pound WIFE beside him.

                          FILM NARRATOR
             ... and his pants will be crusted
             with semen from constantly jacking
             off when he can't find a rape
             victim...
 .
                                                            75.


 DUKE gazes at the TEXAN and his WIFE. -- Feigning sickness,
 he gets up, hand over mouth.

                          DUKE
             Pardon me, I feel sick.

                          FILM NARRATOR
             He will stagger and babble when
             questioned.  He will not respect
             your badge.  The Dope Fiend fears
             nothing.  He will attack, for no
             reason, with every weapon at his
             command -- including yours...

 DUKE heads for the exit.

                          DUKE
             Sorry, sick... Beg pardon!  Feeling
             sick...

                          FILM NARRATOR
             BEWARE.  Any officer apprehending a
             suspected marijuana addict should
             use all necessary force immediately.
             One stitch in time [on him] will
             usually save nine on you.

 DUKE CRASHES OUT THROUGH THE DOOR.

 INT. CASINO BAR - DAY

 DUKE sees GONZO at the bar -- talking to a SPORTY LOOKING
 COP about 40 whose name tag identifies him as a DISTRICT
 ATTORNEY FROM GEORGIA.

                          DA
             I'm a whiskey man myself.  We don't
             have much trouble from drugs where
             I come from...

                          GONZO
             You will.  One of these nights
             you'll wake up and find a junkie
             tearing your bedroom apart.

                          DA
             Naw!

                          GONZO
             They'll climb right into your
             bedroom and sit on your chest with
             big Bowie knives.  They might even
             sit on your wife's chest.  Put the
             blade right down on her throat.
 .
                                                            76.


                          DA
             Not down in my parts.

 DUKE joins them.

                          DUKE
                    (to WAITRESS)
             Rum and ice, please.

                          DA
                    (looks at DUKE'S NAME TAG)
             You're another one of these
             California boys.  Your friend
             here's been tellin' us about dope
             fiends.

                          DUKE
             They're everywhere.  Nobody's safe.
             And sure as hell not in the South.
             They like warm weather... You'd
             never believe it.  In L.A. it's out
             of control.  First it was drugs,
             now it's witchcraft.

                          DA
             Witchcraft?  Shit, you can't mean it!

 The BARTENDER cleans his glasses, one ear straining for the
 conversation.

                          GONZO
             Read the newspapers.

                          DUKE
             Man, you don't know trouble until
             you have to face down a bunch of
             these addicts gone crazy for human
             sacrifice!

                          DA
             Naw!  That's science fiction stuff!

                          DUKE
             Not where we operate.

                          GONZO
             Hell, in Malibu alone, these
             goddamn Satan worshippers kill six
             or eight people every day.  All
             they want is the blood.  They'll
             take people right off the street if
             they have to.
 .
                                                            77.


                          DUKE
             Just the other day we had a case
             where they grabbed a girl right out
             of a McDonald's hamburger stand.
             She was a waitress, about sixteen
             years old... with a lot of people
             watching, too!

 The BARTENDER keeps cleaning the same glass -- more and more
 furiously.

                          DA
             What happened?  What did they do to
             her?

                          GONZO
             Do?  Jesus Christ, man.  They
             chopped her goddamn head off right
             there in the parking lot!  Then
             they cut all kinds of holes in her
             head and sucked out the blood!

                          DA
                    (DA ad-libs a
                    summation of the crime)
             And nobody did anything?

                          DUKE
             What could they do?  The guy that
             took the head was about six-seven,
             and maybe three-hundred pounds.  He
             was packing two Lugers, and the
             others had M-16s.

                          GONZO
             They just ran back out into Death
             Valley -- you know, where Manson
             turned up...

                          DUKE
             Like big lizards.

                          GONZO
             ... and every one of them stacked
             naked...

                          DA
             Naked!?

                          DUKE
             Naked.
 .
                                                            78.


                          GONZO
             Yeh, naked!... except for the
             weapons.

                          DUKE
             They were all veterans.

                          DA
             Veterans?!!!?

 Agog with the horrors of the story, the BARTENDER polishes
 the glass -- faster and faster...

                          GONZO
             Yeh.  The big guy used to be a
             major in the Marines.

                          DA
             A major!

                          GONZO
             We know where he lives, but we
             can't get near the house.

                          DA
             Naw!  Not a major.

                          GONZO
             He wanted the pineal gland.

                          DA
             Really?

                          GONZO
             That's how he got so big.  When he
             quit the Marines he was just a
             little guy.

                          DUKE
             Usually, it's whole families.
             During the night.  Most of them
             don't even wake up until they feel
             their heads going -- and then, of
             course, it's too late.

 The glass smashes in the BARTENDER's hand.

                          DUKE (CONT'D)
             Happens every day.

 DUKE turns to a WAITRESS with a warm smile.
 .
                                                            79.


                          DUKE (CONT'D)
             Three more rums.  Plenty of ice.
             Maybe a handful of lime chunks.

                          WAITRESS
             Are you guys with the police
             convention upstairs?

                          DA
             We sure are, Miss.

                          WAITRESS
             I thought so.  I never heard that
             kind of talk around here before.
             Jesus Christ!  How do you guys
             stand that kind of work?

                          GONZO
                    (grinning)
             We like it.  It's groovy.

 The WAITRESS stares -- sickened -- at GONZO.

                          DUKE
             What's wrong with you?  Hell,
             somebody has to do it.

                          GONZO
             Hurry up with those drinks.  We're
             thirsty.  Only two rums.  Make mine
             a Bloody Mary.

                          DA
                    (whacks his fist on
                    the bar)
             Hell, I really hate to hear this.
             Because everything that happens in
             California seems to get down our
             way, sooner or later.  Mostly
             Atlanta.  But that was back when
             the goddamn bastards were peaceful.
             All we had to do was to keep 'em
             under surveillance.  They didn't
             roam around much... But now Jesus,
             it seems nobody's safe.

                          GONZO
                    (with a conspiratorial
                    nod)
             You're going to need to take the
             bull by the horns -- go to the mat
             with this scum.
 .
                                                            80.


                          DA
             What do you mean by that?

                          GONZO
             You know what I mean.  We've done
             it before and we can damn well do
             it again!

                          DUKE
             Cut their goddamn heads off.  Every
             one of them.  That's what we're
             doing in California.

                          DA
                    (stupefied)
             WHAT?

                          GONZO
             Sure.  It's all on the Q.T., but
             everybody who matters is with us
             all the way down the line.

                          DUKE
             We keep it quiet.  It's not the
             kind of thing you'd want to talk
             about upstairs.  Not with the press
             around.

                          DA
                    (recovering slightly)
             Hell, no.  We'd never hear the
             goddamn end of it.

                          DUKE
             Dobermans don't talk.

                          DA
             What?

                          GONZO
             Sometimes it's easier to just rip
             out the backstraps.

                          DUKE
             They'll fight like hell if you try
             to take the head without the dogs.

                          DA
             God almighty!
                    (muttering in a daze)
             I don't think I should tell my wife
             about this.  She'd never understand.
             You know how women are.
 .
                                                            81.


 DUKE gives the DA a brotherly slap on the back.

                          DUKE
             Just be thankful your heart is
             young and strong.

 DUKE and GONZO leave the stunned DA -- staring into the
 swirling ice in drink.

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

 DUKE and GONZO fall into the suite in fits of laughter.

 GONZO feels the nausea rise suddenly -- heads for the
 bathroom.  Immediate sounds of retching.

 The phone message light is blinking.  DUKE opens a beer,
 picks up the phone.

                          DUKE
             What's the message?  My light is
             blinking.

                          CLERK (V/O)
             Ah, yes.  Mr. Duke?  You have one
             message: "Call Lucy at the Americana
             Hotel, room 1600."

                          DUKE
             Holy shit!

 DUKE slams the phone down.  GONZO emerges from the
 bathroom -- looking like death.

                          DUKE
             Lucy called.

 GONZO sags visibly -- like an animal taking a bullet.

                          GONZO
             What?

 The telephone rings.  DUKE answers.

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - RECEPTION - DAY

 A worried CLERK speaks in to the phone.

                          CLERK
             Mr. Duke?  Hello, Mr. Duke, I'm
             sorry we were cut off a moment
             ago... I thought I should call
             again, because I was wondering...
 .
                                                            82.


 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - DAY

                          DUKE
             WHAT?
                    (hand over the PHONE)
             What was that crazy bitch said to
             him?
                    (screams)
             There's a war on, man!  People are
             being killed!

                          CLERK (V/O)
             Killed?

                          DUKE
             IN VIETNAM!  ON THE GODDAMN
             TELEVISION!

                          CLERK (V/O)
             Oh... yes... yes... This terrible
             war.  When will it end?

                          DUKE
             Tell me.  What do you want?

 In the background GONZO is upturning a sofa to retrieve his
 stash from the lining.

                          CLERK (V/O)
             The woman who left that message for
             you sounded very disturbed.  I
             think she was crying...

                          DUKE
             Crying?  Why was she crying?

                          CLERK (V/O)
             Well, uh.  She didn't say Mr. Duke.
             But since I know you're here with
             the Police Convention...

                          DUKE
             Look, you want to be gentle with
             that woman if she ever calls again.
             We're watching her very carefully...
             this woman has been into laudanum.
             It's a controlled experiment, but I
             suspect we'll need your cooperation
             before this thing is over.

                          CLERK (V/O)
                    (hesitantly)
             Well, certainly... We're always
             happy to cooperate with the police...
 .
                                                            83.


                          DUKE
             Don't worry.  You're protected.
             Just treat this poor woman like
             you'd treat any other human being
             in trouble.

                          CLERK (V/O)
             What?  Ah... yes, yes, I see what
             you mean... Yes... so, you'll be
             responsible then?

                          DUKE
             Of course.  And now I have to get
             back to the news.  Send up some ice.

 He hangs up.  GONZO zaps TV channels -- commercials.

                          GONZO
             Good work.  They'll treat us like
             goddamn lepers after that.

                          DUKE
                    (slowly, carefully)
             Lucy is looking for you.

                          GONZO
                    (laughing)
             No, she's looking for you.

                          DUKE
             Me?

                          GONZO
             She really flipped over you.  The
             only way I could get rid of her was
             by saying you were taking me out to
             the desert for a showdown -- that
             you wanted me out of the way so you
             could have her all to yourself.
                    (laughing again)
             I guess she figures you won.  That
             phone message wasn't for me, was it?

 A look of stunned realization from DUKE...

 INT. FANTASY COURT ROOM - DAY

 LUCY is on the witness stand.

                          LUCY
             Yessir, those two men in the dock
             are the ones who gave me the LSD
             and took me to the hotel.
 .
                                                            84.


 A doomed DUKE and GONZO await their fate.

                          LUCY
             I don't know for sure what they
             done to me, but I remember it was
             horrible.

                          JUDGE
             Twenty years... and Double
             Castration!

 The JUDGE bangs his gavel.

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

 DUKE is madly stuffing his suitcase.

                          GONZO
             Wait!  You can't leave me alone in
             this snake pit.  This room is in my
             name.

 DUKE KEEPS PACKING.  GONZO is looking worried.

                          GONZO
             OK, goddamnit!... Look... I'll call
             her.  I'll get her off our backs.
             You're right.  She's my problem.

                          DUKE
             It's gone too far.

                          GONZO
             Relax.  Let me handle this.
                    (dials the PHONE,
                    snaps angrily at DUKE)
             You'd make a piss-poor lawyer.
             ...Room 1600, please.
                    (to DUKE)
             As your attorney, I advise you not
             to worry.
                    (nods towards bathroom)
             Take a hit out of that little brown
             bottle in my shaving kit.

 DUKE goes in the bathroom.  He finds a little bottle -- a
 label: "DRINK ME."

                          DUKE
             What is this?
 .
                                                            85.


                          GONZO
             You won't need much.  Just a little
             tiny taste, that stuff makes pure
             mescaline seem like ginger-beer.
             Adrenochrome.

 DUKE stares wonderingly at the bottle.

                          DUKE
             Adrenochrome...

                          GONZO
                    (into PHONE)
             Hi, Lucy?  Yeah, it's me.  I got
             your message...what?  Hell, no, I
             taught the bastard a lesson he'll
             never forget... what?  No, not
             dead, but he won't be bothering
             anybody for a while.  Yeah.  I left
             him out there, I stomped him, then
             pulled all his teeth out...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I remember thinking, "Jesus, what a
             terrible thing to lay on somebody
             with a head full of acid."

 DUKE dips a match head into the brown bottle -- studies
 it -- TASTES IT -- NOTHING -- TASTES SOME MORE...

                          GONZO
                    (to PHONE)
             But here's the problem.  That
             bastard cashed a bad check
             downstairs and gave you as a
             reference.  They'll be looking for
             both of you.  Yeah, I know, but you
             can't judge a book by its cover,
             Lucy.  Some people are just
             basically rotten... Anyway, the
             last thing you want to do is call
             this hotel again; they'll trace the
             call and put you straight behind
             bars... no, I'm moving to the
             Tropicana right away.  I have to
             go, they've got the phone tapped.
             Yeah, I know, it was horrible, but
             it's all over now... OH MY GOD!
             THEY'RE KICKING THE DOOR DOWN!
                    (throws the PHONE
                    down; shouts)
             No!  Get away from me!  I'm innocent!
             It was Duke!  I swear to God!
                          (MORE)
 .
                                                            86.


                          GONZO (CONT'D)
                    (stomps the PHONE; moans)
             No, I don't know where she is.
             You'll never catch Lucy!  She's
             gone!  I swear, I don't know where
             she is!  DON'T PUT THAT THING ON ME!
                    (slams the PHONE down)


 GONZO sits back in his chair... watching MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

                          GONZO
             Well.  That's that.  She's probably
             stuffing herself down the
             incinerator about now.  That's the
             last we should be hearing from Lucy.
                    (fumbling with the
                    hash pipe)
             Where's the opium?

 DUKE stares at the back of GONZO's neck.  SOMETHING VERY
 STRANGE IS HAPPENING TO HIM...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I remember slumping on the bed, his
             performance had given me a bad jolt.
             For a moment I thought his mind had
             snapped -- that he actually believed
             he was being attacked by invisible
             enemies.  But the room was quiet
             again.

 DUKE CLUTCHES THE BROWN BOTTLE.

                          DUKE
             Where'd you get this?

                          GONZO
             Never mind, it's absolutely pure.

                          DUKE
             Jesus... what kind of monster
             client have you picked up this time?
             There's only one source for this
             stuff -- the adrenaline gland from
             a living human body!

 GONZO turns to smile at DUKE.
 .
                                                            87.


                          GONZO
             I know, but the guy didn't have any
             cash to pay me.  He's one of these
             Satanism freaks.  He offered me
             human blood -- said it would take
             me higher than I've ever been in my
             life.
                    (laughs -- struts
                    round DUKE -- eyes
                    bright with expectation)
             I thought he was kidding, so I told
             him I'd just as soon have an ounce
             or so of pure adrenochrome -- or
             maybe just a fresh adrenaline gland
             to chew on.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I could already feel the stuff
             working on me -- the first wave
             felt like a combination of mescaline
             and methedrine -- maybe I should
             take a swim, I thought...

 DUKE sees that GONZO is TOYING WITH HIS HUNTING KNIFE...

                          GONZO
             Yeah, they nailed this guy for
             child molesting.  He swore he
             didn't do it. "Why should I fuck
             with children?" he says. "They're
             too small." Christ, werewolf is
             entitled to legal counsel.  I
             didn't dare turn the creep down.
             He might have picked up a letter
             opener and gone after my pineal
             gland!

 GONZO JABS WITH THE RAZOR BRIGHT KNIFE.  DUKE'S BODY IS
 GOING RIGID -- HE SPEAKS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH.

                          DUKE
             Why not?  We should get some of
             that.  Just eat a big handful and
             see what happens.

                          GONZO
             Some of what?

                          DUKE
                    (spitting words)
             Extract of pineal!
 .
                                                            88.


                          GONZO
                    (STARING AT DUKE WITH
                    A STRANGE SMILE)
             Sure.  That's a good idea.  One
             whiff of that shit would turn you
             into something out of a goddamn
             medical encyclopedia.

 GONZO GROWS HORNS -- HIS FACE BECOMES A MEXICAN DEMON MASK.

                          GONZO
             Man, your head would swell up like
             a watermelon, you'd probably gain
             about a hundred pounds in two
             hours...

 A CLOVEN HOOF BURSTS THROUGH GONZO'S SHOE.

                          DUKE
             Right!

                          GONZO
             ... grow claws... bleeding warts.

 GONZO'S CHEST EXPANDS -- BONY RIBS BURSTING HIS SHIRT.

                          DUKE
             Yes!

                          GONZO
             ... then you'd notice about six
             huge hairy tits swelling up on your
             back...

 A TAIL LASHES, HOOFS STRIKE THE FLOOR.  GONZO TOWERS -- A
 FLAME RED DEMON!

                          DUKE
             Fantastic!

 DUKE is now so wire that his hands are CLAWING UNCONTROLLABLY
 at the bedspread, JERKING IT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER HIM.  His
 heels are dug into the mattress with both KNEES LOCKED,
 EYEBALLS SWELLING.

 GONZO-DEMON LOOMS AGAINST THE CEILING.

                          GONZO
             you'd go blind... your body would
             turn to wax... they'd have to put
             you in a wheelbarrow and...

 GONZO'S VOICE FADES AWAY -- DUKE'S frenzied gaze reveals
 GONZO REVERTED TO NORMAL HUMAN SHAPE AND SIZE.
 .
                                                            89.


                          GONZO
             Man I'll try about anything; but
             I'd never touch a pineal gland.

                          DUKE
             FINISH THE FUCKING STORY!  What
             happened?!  What about the glands?

 GONZO, a small smile on his lips, backs away warily...
 towards the TV -- NOW A HUNDRED FEET AWAY IN THE DISTANCE...

                          GONZO
             Jesus, that stuff got right on top
             of you, didn't it.

 VEINS stand out on DUKE's forehead.  He is purplish-red.
 OVER THE TOP!  Too late, he realizes he is NEAR DEATH!

                          DUKE
             Maybe you could just... shove me
             into the pool, or something...

 GONZO shakes his head disgustedly.

                          GONZO
             If I put you in the pool right now,
             you'd sink like a goddamn stone.
             You took too much.  Jesus, look at
             your face, you're about to explode.

 GONZO sits back down... watching the TV.

                          GONZO
             Don't try and fight it, or you'll
             get brain bubbles.  Strokes,
             aneurysms.  You'll just wither up
             and die.

 DUKE FALLS TO THE GROUND, WRITHING, CATATONIC, SINKING INTO
 PARALYSIS.

 AND THE SOUND, SUDDENLY AND STRANGELY, OF THE VOICE OF
 RICHARD NIXON AND HIS DISTORTED FACE ON THE TV SCREEN.

                          NIXON
             Sacrifice... sacrifice...
             sacrifice...

 DUKE PASSES OUT.

 BLACK SCREEN
 .
                                                            90.


 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 Darkness.  Insanely, somewhere NILSSON plays -- "Put the
 lime in the coconut and mix em all up..."

                          DUKE (V/O)
             What kind of rat-bastard psychotic
             would play that song -- right now,
             at this moment?

 DUKE opens his eyes and the hotel suite rushes in.  He lies,
 awkwardly twisted -- unable to move.  He could have been
 there days -- months.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             When I came to the general back
             alley ambiance of the suite was so
             rotten, so incredibly foul.  How
             long had I been lying there?  Hours?
             Days?  Months?  All these signs of
             violence.  What had happened?

 DUKE moves his eyes -- taking in his surroundings: Like THE
 SIGHT OF SOME DISASTROUS ZOOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT involving
 whisky and gorillas.  Blue and red Christmas tree lights
 replace lightbulbs, used towels hanging everywhere,
 pornographic pictures ripped out of a magazine are plastered
 on a shattered mirror.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There was evidence in this room of
             excessive consumption of almost
             every type of drug known to
             civilized man since 1544 AD.

 DUKE manages to move -- stiffly gets to his bare feet --
 HOBBLES ROUND THE TRASHED ROOM like a newly risen ape.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             But what kind of addict would need
             all these coconut husks and crushed
             honeydew rinds?  Would the presence
             of junkies account for all these
             uneaten french fries?  These
             puddles of glazed ketchup on the
             bureau?  Maybe so, but then why all
             this booze?  And these crude
             pornographic photos smeared with
             mustard that had dried to a hard
             yellow crust...

 DUKE peers into Gonzo's room -- HIS BED LIKE A BURNED OUT
 RAT'S NEST -- blackened springs and wires.
 .
                                                            91.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             These were not the hoof prints of
             your normal god-fearing junkie.  It
             was too savage, too aggressive.

 QUICK FLASHBACK:

 GONZO SMASHES THE TEN FOOT MIRROR WITH A HAMMER:

 BACK IN THE ROOM:

 DUKE stares at the smashed mirror.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Grim memories and bad flashbacks.

 In the bathroom, DUKE'S unlaced boots CRUSH BROKEN GLASS IN
 VOMIT AND GRAPEFRUIT RINDS.

 DUKE unzips and pisses.  THERE IN THE TOILET BOWL IS THE
 MAGNUM .357!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Something ugly had happened.  I was
             sure of it...

 DUKE stares at the golden stream SPLASHING ON THE GUN.

 The SOUNDS OF VOMITING come from a closet near the front door.

 DUKE looks into the room.  He sees GONZO's ass sticking out
 of the closet.  He opens his mouth to speak when, IN THE
 SMASHED MIRROR HE SEES THE FRAGMENTED REFLECTION OF HIMSELF...
 sleeping on the sofa.

 The ominous SOUND OF A KEY TURNING in the room lock.

 A hellish scream wakes up the SLEEPING DUKE.  He sees GONZO
 grappling naked with the maid -- gun to her head.  GONZO is
 muffling her screams with an ice bag.

                          MAID
             Please... please... I'm only the
             maid.  I didn't mean nothin!...

                          DUKE
                    (jumps up from the
                    bed, flashing his
                    press badge)
             YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
 .
                                                            92.


                          GONZO
                    (to DUKE)
             She must have used a pass key.  I
             was polishing my shoes in the
             closet when I noticed her sneaking
             in-so I took her.

 DUKE shakes his head.

                          DUKE
                    (barks at the MAID)
             What made you do it?  Who paid you
             off?

                          MAID
             Nobody.  I'm the maid!

                          GONZO
             You're lying!  You were after the
             evidence.  Who put you up to
             this -- the manager?

                          MAID
             I don't know what you're talking
             about!

                          GONZO
             Bullshit!  You're just as much a
             part of it as they are!

                          MAID
             Part of what?

                          DUKE
             The dope ring.  You must know
             what's going on in this hotel.  Why
             do you think we're here?

                          MAID
                    (blubbering)
             I know you're cops, but I thought
             you were just here for that
             convention.  I swear!  All I wanted
             to do was clean up the room.  I
             don't know anything about dope!

 GONZO laughs.

                          GONZO
             Come on, baby don't try to tell us
             you never heard of the Grange Gorman.
 .
                                                            93.


                          MAID
             No!  No!  I swear to Jesus I never
             heard of that stuff!

                          DUKE
             Maybe she's telling the truth.
             Maybe she's not part of it.

                          MAID
             No!  I swear I'm not!

                          GONZO
                    (long pause)
             In that case, maybe she can help.

                          MAID
             Yes!  I'll help you all you need!
             I hate dope!

                          DUKE
             So do we, lady.

                          GONZO
                    (helping her up)
             I think we should put her on the
             payroll.  See what she comes up with.

                          DUKE
             Do you think you can handle it?

                          MAID
             What?

                          GONZO
             One phone call every day.  Just
             tell us what you've seen.  Don't
             worry if it doesn't add up, that's
             our problem.

 GONZO hustles the MAID to the door.

                          MAID
             You'd pay me for that?

                          DUKE
             You're damn right.  But the first
             time you say anything about this,
             to anybody -- you'll go straight to
             prison for the rest of your life.
             What's your name?

                          MAID
             Alice.  Just ring Linen Service and
             ask for Alice.
 .
                                                            94.


                          GONZO
             Alright, Alice... you'll be
             contacted by Inspector Rock.
             Arthur Rock.  He'll be posing as a
             politician.

                          DUKE
             Inspector Rock will pay you.  In
             cash.  A thousand dollars on the
             ninth of every month.

                          MAID
             Oh Lord!  I'd do just about anything
             for that!

                          GONZO
             You and a lot of other people.

                          DUKE
             The password is: "One Hand Washes
             The Other." The minute you hear
             that, you say "I fear nothing."

                          MAID
             I fear nothing.

 She repeats the password several times while they listen to
 make sure she has it right.

                          GONZO
             Oh, and don't bother to make up the
             room.  That way we won't have to
             risk another of these little
             incidents, will we?

                          MAID
             Whatever you say, gentlemen.  I
             can't tell you how sorry I am about
             what happened...

                          GONZO
             Don't worry, it's all over now.
             Thank God for the decent people.

 She smiles, repeating to herself "One Hand Washes The Other"
 as GONZO hangs the DO NOT DISTURB sign and shuts the door.

 CUT BACK TO THE PRESENT.

 A grimy tape runs through a grunged-up portable tape recorder.

                          GONZO ON TAPE
             ... Thank God for the decent people.
 .
                                                            95.


 DUKE sits in the middle of the wrecked suite with his
 mangled tape recorder in front of him.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Memories of that night are extremely
             hazy...

 DUKE fast forwards through the tape -- SEARCHING: "Awwww,
 mama... can this really...be the end...?"

 EXT. SAFEWAY SUPERMARKET - DAY

 The WHITE WHALE waits -- gleaming -- beautiful.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There is a definite obligation,
             when you boom around Vegas in a
             white Coupe de Ville, to maintain a
             certain style.

 DUKE and GONZO burst out of the supermarket riding a shopping
 basket loaded with COCONUTS, GRAPEFRUIT and TEQUILA.  They
 send DEFEATED SHOPPERS sprawling.

 The trolley collides into the WHITE WHALE.  SHOPPERS gather
 at the supermarket entrance to watch -- baskets loaded with
 junk, SCREAMING KIDS and EMPTY WALLETS.

 DUKE switches on the music: JUMPING JACK FLASH.  He selects
 a coconut -- ceremonially balances it on the hood.  GONZO
 pulls out a silver claw-hammer.  A sly look at the gathering
 CROWD... then he smashes the hammer down on the coconut!

 A GASP from the surly SHOPPERS.

 DUKE places another coconut.  SMASH!  Milk and white meat
 flies everywhere.

                          SHOPPER #1
             Hey!  Is that your car?

                          DUKE
             Sure is.

 SMASH!  Coconut fragments fly.

                          DUKE
             Any of you folks want the milk?
             We're after the meat.  This is
             honest coconut essence.  Real meat.

 SMASH!
 .
                                                            96.


                          SHOPPER #2
             Meat, hell!  Look what you're doing
             to that car!

                          GONZO
             Fuck the car.  They should make
             these things with a goddamn FM radio.

 SMASH!

                          DUKE
             Yeh... This foreign made crap -- is
             sucking our dollar balance dry!

                          SHOPPER #3
             Someone should stop them!

 SMASH!

                          DUKE
             You poor fools don't understand, do
             you?  This car is the property of
             the World Bank!  That money goes to
             ITALY!

                          SHOPPER #3
             Somebody should call the police!

                          GONZO
             Police?  Are you people crazy?

 GONZO confronts the CROWD, hammer in one hand, a coconut in
 the other.

                          GONZO (CONT'D)
             You folks every heard of ole
             Patrick Henry?  Know what he said?!

 Silence -- the CROWD uncomprehending of this STONE DEGENERATE.

                          GONZO (CONT'D)
                    (ROARS)
             GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

 GONZO brings the hammer down on the hood.  CLANG!

 A gasp from the CROWD.  Getting ugly.

                          GONZO (CONT'D)
             In Samoa we LOVE THE CONSTITUTION!

                          SHOPPER #3
             Bullshit.
 .
                                                            97.


 The CROWD move in.

                          SHOPPER #1
             Call the goddamn police!

 GONZO SWINGS THE HAMMER.  CLANG!

                          SHOPPER #4
             Look what they've done to that
             beautiful car!

 DUKE jumps in behind the wheel.

                          DUKE
             This crowd is not rational.  They
             can't relate to us.  Let's go!

 A final CLANG!  GONZO jumps in.

 DUKE floors the accelerator -- screams at the CROWD.

                          DUKE
             You people voted for Hubert Humphrey!
             You killed Jesus!

 They swerve round and through the CROWD.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The crowd broke ranks.  Nobody
             wants to be run over by a Coupe de
             Ville.

 INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE FAST-FORWARDS... PLAYS THE TAPE...

                          VOICE ON TAPE
             You found the American Dream?  In
             this town?

                          DUKE ON TAPE
             We're sitting on the main nerve
             right now...

 INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

 DUKE and GONZO (wearing a single black glove) talk
 conspiratorially to a 3RD MAN.  A PLACID ORANGUTAN in a bow
 tie sits next to him.  THE BAR IS REVOLVING FASTER THAN
 NORMAL.  DUKE IS INSANELY TALKATIVE -- WIRED!
 .
                                                            98.


                          DUKE
             The manager told me a story about
             the owner of this place...about how
             he always wanted to run away and
             join the circus when he was a kid.
             Well, now the bastard has his own
             circus, and a license to steal, too.

                          3RD MAN
             You're right -- he's the model.

                          DUKE
             Absolutely!  Pure Horatio Alger...
             Say...

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE playing the tape.

                          DUKE ON TAPE
             ... how much do you think he'd take
             for the ape?

 DUKE fast-forwards again -- searching... TRAFFIC NOISES.
 SCREECH OF BRAKES.

                          VOICE ON TAPE
             Holy God!...

 A TERRIBLE GRINDING NOISE.

 EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

                          RENTAL AGENT
             Holy God!, how did this happen?

                          DUKE
             They beat the shit out of it.

                          RENTAL AGENT
             The top's completely jammed!

 The CAR RENTAL AGENT wrestles with the trashed car.

                          DUKE
             Yeah, something's wrong with the
             motor...

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

                          DUKE ON TAPE
             ... The generator light's been on
             red ever since I drove the thing
             into Lake Mead on a water test...
 .
                                                            99.


 A HUGE SPLASH...

 The tape's gone too far.

                          DUKE
             No, no.  Shit...

 DUKE races the tape BACKWARDS... Then, SIRENS HOWL.

                          DUKE ON TAPE
             Where's the ape?  I'm ready to
             write a check.

 INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS BAR - NIGHT

 DUKE is standing in the middle of A SEMI-DESTROYED BAZOOKO
 CIRCUS REVOLVING BAR.  Mirrors are broken.  People are
 recovering from some kind of battle.  THE BAR SPINS MADLY.
 DUKE IS INSANELY WIRED.

                          3RD MAN
             Forget it, he just attacked an old
             man... he took a bite out of the
             bartender's head!  The cops took
             the ape away.

                          DUKE
             Goddamnit!  What's the bail?  I
             want that ape!  I've already
             reserved two first-class seats on
             the plane.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There was every reason to believe
             that we had been heading for
             trouble, that we'd pushed our luck
             a bit far...

 INT. WHITE WHALE ON THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS - NIGHT

 GONZO SCREAMS ABUSE out of the window at a Ford alongside
 the VOMIT STREAKED WHITE WHALE.  DUKE MAKES A SUPERHUMAN
 EFFORT TO STAY ON THE ROAD.

                          GONZO
             Hey there!  You folks want to buy
             some heroin?

 In the Ford: TWO COUPLES -- MIDDLE-AGED AMERICAN FACES
 FROZEN IN SHOCK -- stare straight ahead.  GONZO leans out --
 close to them.
 .
                                                           100.


                          GONZO
             Hey, honkies!  Goddamnit, I'm
             serious.  I want to sell you some
             pure fucking smack!

 No reaction.

                          GONZO
             Cheap heroin!  This is the real
             stuff!  You won't get hooked.  I
             just got back from Vietnam!  This
             is scag, folks.  Pure scag!

 The lights change.  The Ford bolts.  DUKE keeps pace with
 them.

                          GONZO
             Shoot!  Fuck!  Scag!  Blood!
             Heroin!  Rape!  Cheap!  Communist!
             Jab it right in your fucking
             eyeballs!

 The MAN IN THE BACK SEAT suddenly loses control -- enraged,
 lunges against the glass, trying to get at GONZO.

                          MAN IN CAR
             You dirty bastards!  Pull over and
             I'll kill you!  God damn you!  You
             bastards!

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 BACK IN THE SUITE:

 The tapes runs:

                          MAN IN CAR ON TAPE
             You dirty bastards!

 An ugly squeal of brakes.

                          GONZO ON TAPE
             Shit, he was trying to bite me!  I
             shoulda maced the fucker!

 DUKE fast forwards the tape.  The TAPE MANGLES -- the sounds
 ski to a halt...

 DUKE grabs the nearest tool -- uses it to hook out the tape,
 then realizes... IT'S GONZO'S RAZOR-SHARP FOLDING KNIFE... A
 CHILLING MOMENT...

 DUKE turns the knife over... THERE'S A DRIED CRIMSON SPOT ON
 THE BLADE... OR IS IT DRIED MASHED POTATOES?
 .
                                                           101.


 READ ON TO FIND OUT!

                          DUKE
                    (remembering)
             Back door beauty!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The mentality of Las Vegas is so
             grossly atavistic that a really
             massive crime often slips by
             unrecognized.

 DUKE SCRAPS A LITTLE OF THE CRUST -- TASTES IT...

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             The possibility of physical and
             mental collapse is very real... No
             sympathy for the devil; keep that
             in mind.  Buy the ticket, take the
             ride...

 HE HEARS THE SOUNDS OF SOMEONE BEHIND BEATEN UP...

                          VOICE OFF
             Shit!  Faggot!  Bastard!

 EXT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

 WHACK!  SHADOWY FIGURES beat up a MAN -- give him A GOOD
 KICKING.  BRUTAL AND UGLY.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             North Vegas is where you go when
             you've fucked up once too often on
             The Strip and when you're not even
             welcome in the cut-rate Downtown
             places.

 PAN to reveal a seedy diner -- THE NORTH STAR CAFE in the
 background.  Through the window -- DUKE and GONZO sit at the
 counter.

 INT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed
             like a fairly safe haven from our
             storms.  No hassles, no talk.  Just
             a place to rest and regroup.  I
             wasn't even hungry.

 GONZO stuffs a hamburger down PAYING NO ATTENTION TO THE
 BEATING going on outside the window.  Duke reads a newspaper.
 .
                                                           102.


                          DUKE (V/O)
             There was nothing in the atmosphere
             of the North Star to put me on my
             guard...

                          GONZO
                    (to WAITRESS)
             Two glasses of ice water with ice.

 The WAITRESS brings the ice water.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             She looked like a burnt out
             caricature of Jane Russell.  She
             was definitely in charge here...

 GONZO gulps down his glass of water and hands her a napkin.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             He did it very casually, but I knew
             that our peace was about to be
             shattered.

                          DUKE
             What was that?

 GONZO shrugs.

 The WAITRESS stands at the end of the counter with her back
 to them while she ponders the napkin... She turns.

                          WAITRESS
             What is this?

                          GONZO
             A napkin.

 THE WAITRESS slams the napkin down on the counter.

                          WAITRESS
             Don't give me that bullshit!  I
             know what it means!  You goddamn
             fat pimp bastard.

                          GONZO
             That's the name of a horse I used
             to own.  What's wrong with you?

                          WAITRESS
             You sonofabitch!  I take a lot of
             shit in this place, but I sure as
             hell don't have to take it off a
             SPIC PIMP!
 .
                                                           103.


 GONZO GOES VERY VERY STILL AT THIS...

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Jesus.  I thought, what's happening?

 DUKE picks up the napkin.  On it is printed in careful red
 letters: "BACK DOOR BEAUTY?"

                          DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
             The question mark was emphasized.

                          WAITRESS
                    (screams)
             Pay your bill and get the hell out!
             You want me to call the cops?

                          GONZO
             Spic pimp?

 GONZO's hand goes inside his shirt.  He PULLS OUT THE RAZOR-
 SHARP HUNTING KNIFE.

 GONZO KEEPS HIS EYES ON THE WAITRESS.  He walks about six
 feet down the aisle and lifts the receiver of the pay phone.
 He SLICES IT OFF, then brings the receiver back to his stool
 and sits down.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             I was stupid with shock -- not
             knowing whether to run or start
             laughing.

                          GONZO
                    (casual)
             How much is the lemon meringue pie?

                          DUKE (V/O)
             Her eyes were turgid with fear, but
             her brain was functioning on some
             basic motor survival level.

                          WAITRESS
                    (blurting -- on automatic)
             Thirty-five cents!

                          GONZO
                    (laughing)
             I mean the whole pie.

 The WAITRESS MOANS.  GONZO places a $5 BILL on the counter.

                          GONZO
             Let's say five dollars.  Okay?
 .
                                                           104.


 GONZO walks round the counter TAKING THE PIE OUT OF THE
 DISPLAY CASE.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             The sight of the blade had triggered
             bad memories.  The glazed look in
             her eyes said her throat had been
             cut.  She was still in the grip of
             paralysis when we left.

 DUKE IS ROOTED TO THE SPOT.

 GONZO urges him out the door.  The camera retreats with them.

 The WAITRESS STANDS THERE -- PETRIFIED.  Alone in a lousy
 bar at night.

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

 DUKE's face as he stares at the knife -- remembering...

                          GONZO (V/O)
             Drive!  Drive!  Drive!  We have
             fifteen fucking minutes to get me
             on that plane!

 EXT. ROAD ON OUTSKIRTS OF LAS VEGAS - DAY

 The WHITE WHALE, looking like shit -- it's TOP HALF UP,
 TORN, SLAPPING IN THE WIND -- ROARS THROUGH AN INTERSECTION
 as the light turns red.

 DR. GONZO FRANTICALLY PAWS OVER A MAP.

 DUKE drives -- SILENT AND FURIOUS -- sick to his stomach
 with the PSYCHOTIC GONZO.

                          GONZO
             What are you doing?  You were
             supposed to turn back there!

                          DUKE (V/O)
             We had abused every rule that Vegas
             lived by -- burning the locals,
             abusing the tourists, terrifying
             the help.  The only chance now, I
             felt, was the possibility that we'd
             gone to such excess that nobody in
             the position to bring the hammer
             down on us could possibility
             believe it.

 DUKE suddenly SLAMS ON THE BRAKES.
 .
                                                           105.


                          GONZO
             Jesus Christ!!!

 There, crossing the road in front of them, is LUCY -- her
 paintings under her arm -- looking lost.  SHE LOOKS UP WITH
 A VAGUE SENSE OF RECOGNITION...

 DUKE throws the car into a SKIDDING REVERSE TURN AND ROARS
 OFF.

 EXT. DESERT ROAD OUTSIDE LAS VEGAS - DAY

 THE WHITE WHALE TEARS DOWN THE DESERTED FREEWAY.  GONZO
 looks wildly around.

                          GONZO
             Goddamnit!  We're lost!  What are
             we doing out here on this
             godforsaken road?

 GONZO sees that THEY'RE RUNNING PARALLEL WITH THE AIRPORT
 RUNWAY.

                          GONZO
             The airport is over there!

                          DUKE
             Never missed a plane yet.

 DUKE HITS THE BRAKES and wrenches the wheel -- takes the
 WHALE down into the grassy freeway divider.  WHEELS CHURNING,
 HE MAKES IT UP THE OPPOSITE BANK, nose of the car straight
 up, then BOUNCES ONTO THE FREEWAY and keeps going right OVER
 A FENCE, dragging it through a cactus field and onto the
 RUNWAY.

 GONZO is FROZEN WITH FEAR -- GRIPPING THE DASHBOARD.  He
 throws a worried look at DUKE.

                          DUKE
             I'll drop you right next to the
             plane.

 They SPEED UNDER A PARKED AIRPLANE, SHOUTING ABOVE THE JET
 ENGINE SCREAM.

                          GONZO
             No!  I can't get out!  They'll
             crucify me.  I'll have to take the
             blame!
 .
                                                           106.


                          DUKE
                    (irritatedly)
             Ridiculous!  Just say you were
             hitchhiking to the airport and I
             picked you up.  You never saw me
             before.  Shit, this town is full of
             white Cadillac convertibles.  I
             plan to go through there so fast
             that nobody will even glimpse the
             goddamn license plate.  You ready?

                          GONZO
             Why not?  But for Christ's sake,
             just do it fast!

 EXT. AT THE AIRPLANE - DAY

 DUKE SCREECHES UP in front of the DESERT AIR 727.  GONZO
 JUMPS OUT -- HEADS FOR THE PLANE.

 DUKE watches him go -- RELENTS.

                          DUKE
             Hey!

 GONZO stops -- turns.

                          DUKE
             Don't take any guff from those
             swine.  Remember, if you have any
             trouble you can always send a
             telegram to the Right People.

                          GONZO
             Yeah... Explaining my Position.
             Some asshole wrote a poem about
             that once...

 GONZO pauses.

                          GONZO
             Probably good advice, if you have
             shit for brains.

 GONZO turns and RACES TOWARDS THE STEPS JUST AS HE IS ABOUT
 TO ENTER THE PLANE HE PAUSES AND LOOKS BACK...SMILES...AND
 LEANS FORWARD AND VOMITS.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There he goes -- one of God's own
             prototypes -- a high powered mutant
             of some kind never even considered
             for mass production.  Too weird to
             live and too rare to die.
 .
                                                           107.


 DUKE watches for a second then ROARS AWAY.  PULL BACK WITH
 THE WHITE SHARK -- LEAVING THE AIRPLANE FAR BEHIND.

 INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE/APOCALYPSE - NIGHT

 On the TV an airplane soars thru the sky.  Pull back to find
 DUKE barricaded in GONZO'S BEDROOM.  He is typing on his
 typewriter.

                          DUKE
             We are all wired into a survival
             trip now.  No more of the speed
             that fueled that 60's.  That was
             the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.
             He crashed around America selling
             "consciousness expansion" without
             ever giving a thought to the grim
             meat-hook realities that were lying
             in wait for all the people who took
             him seriously...

 DUKE records like A WAR CORRESPONDENT.  The CAMERA slowly
 rises -- DUKE alone in the room with the TV SPEWING OUT
 IMAGES OF WARS AND CIVIL UNREST OF THE 90'S.

                          DUKE
             All those pathetically eager acid
             freaks who thought they could buy
             Peace and Understanding for three
             bucks a hit.  But their loss and
             failure is ours too.  What Leary
             took down with him was the central
             illusion of a whole life-style that
             he helped create...

 RISING HIGHER -- THE WALLS OF THE ROOM APPEAR TO BY 20 TO 30
 FEET HIGH.  DUKE SEEMS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL... THE
 CAMERA RISES UP THROUGH BROKEN TIMBERS...

                          DUKE
             ... a generation of permanent
             cripples, failed seekers, who never
             understood the essential old-mystic
             fallacy of the Acid Culture: the
             desperate assumption that somebody...
             or at least some force -- is
             tending the light at the end of the
             tunnel.

 HIGHER STILL -- DUKE ALONE IN THE ROOM -- AN ISOLATED BOX
 SURROUNDED BY THE TWISTED METAL AND RUBBLE AND SMASHED NEON
 SIGNS OF THE DEAD CITY -- A BLASTED LANDSCAPE WITHOUT
 LIGHT -- SHARDS OF A CIVILIZATION.
 .
                                                           108.


 EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - DAY

 A BURNING FLARED-OUT SUN.  The camera pans down to DUKE
 DRIVING THE WRECKED WHALE.  A piece of the fence flies out
 of the back seat as he takes a bump.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             There was only one road back to L.A.
             US Interstate 15, just a flat-out
             high speed burn through Baker and
             Barstow and Berdoo, then on to the
             Hollywood Freeway straight into
             frantic oblivion: safety, obscurity,
             just another freak in the Freak
             Kingdom.

 DUKE sees THE HARDWARE BARN, A RUSTIC OLD FARM BUILDING
 facing the road with a single gas pump outside and a neon
 sign that flashes beer.

                          DUKE
             Ahhh.  Wonderful.

 DUKE PULLS OFF THE ROAD and parks.  Gets out and walks in.

 INT. HARDWARE BARN - BAKER, CALIFORNIA - DAY

 DUKE enters the DARK, CLUTTERED INTERIOR.  Scattered all
 about the store are BITS OF AMERICANA... OLD BARRELS, WAGON
 WHEELS, WOODEN YOKES.  A STUFFED HORSE HANGS FROM THE
 RAFTERS.  The sunlight shafts through high windows.  AN OLD
 MAN is repairing an iron pot-bellied stove near the wooden
 bar.  A NORMAN ROCKWELL PAINTING... ONLY REAL.

                          PROPRIETOR
             What'll you have?

 DUKE can't quite believe this place -- too good to be true.

                          DUKE
                    (doubtfully)
             Ballantine Ale...?

 THE PROPRIETOR serves the ale up ice cold.  DUKE SMILES AND
 RELAXES.

                          DUKE
             Hard to find it served like this
             anymore.

 As he drinks, DUKE toys with a rack of key chains -- LITTLE
 AMERICAN ICONS... A REMINGTON COWBOY, A BUGS BUNNY, A TWEETY
 PIE, BETTY BOOP, A BASEBALL PLAYER.  The logo on the rack
 reads: AMERICAN DREAM KEY RINGS.
 .
                                                           109.


                          PROPRIETOR
             Where ya comin' from, young man?

                          DUKE
             Las Vegas.

                          PROPRIETOR
             A great town, that Vegas.  I bet
             you had good luck there.  You're
             the type.

                          DUKE
             I know.  I'm a triple Scorpio.

                          PROPRIETOR
                    (trustingly)
             That's a fine combination.  You
             can't lose.

 A LOVELY GIRL appears.  Seeing DUKE, she smiles.  CAN THIS
 REALLY BE HIS LUCKY DAY?  She approaches him... and...
 KISSES THE PROPRIETOR.

                          DUKE
                    (caught off guard... muttering)
             Oh, my God!...

                          PROPRIETOR
                    (not understanding)
             This is my granddaughter...

                          DUKE
                    (recovering)
             Don't worry...
                    (leans forward in confidence)
             ... and I'm actually the District
             Attorney from Ignoto County.
                    (winks)
             Just another good American like
             yourself.

 A MOMENT.  THE PROPRIETOR'S SMILE DISAPPEARS.

 Wordlessly the PROPRIETOR and his GRANDDAUGHTER go to the
 back of the store -- GET ON WITH THEIR WORK -- IGNORING DUKE.

 WHO FEELS ASHAMED.

 DUKE puts some money down on the bar and SLOWLY LEAVES.

 EXT. HARDWARE BARN - DAY

 A CHASTENED DUKE approaches the vomit streaked WHITE WHALE.
 Gets in -- sits there -- deflated -- miserable...
 .
                                                           110.


 A state bus draws up across from the Hardware Barn.

 Somberly, DUKE watches as TWO YOUNG MARINES with duffel bags
 step off -- chatting like TRUE BROTHERS...

 DUKE switches on the ignition.  Something rolls off the
 trembling dash... DUKE catches it...

 ONE SINGLE BEAUTIFUL AMYL CAPSULE...

 DUKE CRACKS THE AMYL -- INHALES.  THE RUSH MAKES HIM GASP --
 TEETH BARED LIKE A MADMAN.

                          DUKE
             HOLY SHIT!!!

 DUKE GUNS THE ENGINE with a laugh -- leans out -- YELLS AT
 THE MARINES.

                          DUKE
             GOD'S MERCY ON YOU SWINE!

 DUKE ROARS AWAY.  AN AMERICAN FLAG FLIES UP FROM THE DEBRIS
 IN THE BACK SEAT, MADLY UNFURLING ITSELF AS IT SNAGS ON THE
 CONVERTIBLE-TOP FRAME OF THE TRASHED WHITE WHALE!

 AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 The TWO MARINES look after him CONFUSED.

 EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY

 DUKE drives fast -- TEETH GRITTED IN FROZEN ECSTASY!!

 DUKE CRANKS UP THE TAPE RECORDER.

                          DUKE (V/O)
             My heart was filled with joy.  I
             felt like a monster reincarnation
             of Horatio Alger... a man on the
             move... and just sick enough to be
             totally confident.

 The WHITE WHALE WIPES THE SCREEN BLACK.

 AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

                              END

